Sandra writes a column on Pathological Relationships for Psychology Today. Read the latest entry at:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pathological-relationships
Psychology Today Column
September 29, 2009 by
Retreats
September 28, 2009 by
Retreat Descriptions
September 28, 2009 by
Retreat 2009 Descriptions
Retreats are 5 days/ 4 nights and include brand new beautiful accommodations, your workshop training with two coaches, any handouts, Asheville airport pick up and drop off. test
‘Reducing the Emotional Affects of a Pathological Parent on Children’
Rebecca P. a children’s Behavioral Analyst is helping YOU learn how to reduce the negative effects of the pathologicals parenting on your child! She will help you develop a personalized behavior plan just for your children. Learn how to protect your child from the long term devastation of pathological parenting and how to quickly bring your child back to equilibrium after visits. STOP allowing your child to be a PAWN! Learn:
- The 4 functions of Behavior
- The 7 Parental Mistakes
- Skills to Increase Cooperation
- Developing Your Child’s Unique Behavior Plan
- And much more!
(Sorry, limited to 6 participants only!)
‘Moving on: Advanced Approaches to Healthier Relationships’
To get more, you have to be more. This retreat will help you promote your own advancement for living and developing a higher functioning life without the pathological/ abusive man.
- Increasing your joy of this present moment–learning to manage intrusive thoughts
- Practical methods of achieving your personal and relationship goals
- Increasing hope for your future
- Developing healthier life skills through self examination and establishing your own future lifestyle choices on ‘How to Spot a Healthy Relationship’
Taught by the Cheryl, our resident ‘Positive Motivational Trainer’ — she will rewire your view of your life and potential to have you excited to move forward in your own recovery!
Sandra will lead groups on managing ‘hang over’ symptoms such as intrusive thoughts and more.
‘Healing the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships’
This is our hallmark retreat focused on helping you understand the dynamics of your relationship, pinpoint your super traits as to why you were attracted to and tolerant of pathological people, and what you need to do in order to heal.
- Identifying personality disorders
- Hard-wiring of pathology
- Understanding intense attachment to pathologicals
- Bad Relationship Choices
- How to break up and stay gone!
We ran this retreat all year long in 2008! Always a great seller and a great healer! Come join, Carol, one of The Institute’s first support care coaches who have been with The Institute for quite a while. She leads her own Dangerous Man workshops, groups, and coaching! (This retreat will also be taught through out the year by other Institute Faculty) Sandra will lead a few of the groups as well.
(Sorry, limited to 6 participants only!)
‘Boundaries for Pathological Relationship Prevention’
At the heart of what contributed to ending up in a pathological love relationship is the absence of healthy and consistent boundaries. From our research, every person in pathological relationships ended up there because of a lapse in boundaries or the absence of them to begin with. The first foundation of recovering is establishing boundaries.
- What are they?
- Are you selfish for having them?
- How to you have healthy boundaries without becoming a bully.
- How are boundary violators LOOKING FOR you because of your weak boundaries?
- Develop healthy boundaries with your family, friends, work and partners
- What kind of boundary violations do pathological use? Then how do they ‘up’ their violations from there?
Never be targeted again based on your lack of boundaries! A MUST WORKSHOP for every woman healing from
pathological relationships. If you don’t have this, you won’t have healthy relationships. Enjoy the group process, journaling, role playing, and DVD training series as
well! Taught by various Institute Faculty members.
‘How to Spot a Dangerous Partner’
Dangerousness is not just violence — it’s getting involved with someone who has a permanent personality disorder with the inability to sustain change or develop insight.
- What are the EIGHT types of pathologicals?
- How can you learn to spot them?
- Why is pathology so destructive to normal people?
- What are the signs of a bad dating choice?
- What in your HISTORY has made you prone to selecting and be targeted by dangerous people?
Taught by our own Rachele M., a Life Coach & Trainer, you will come away with a clear understanding of pathology, dangerous partners, how to spot and how to leave! Sandra will lead the groups on Formation of Pathology in others.
‘Moving Beyond the Pain of Intrusive Thoughts from Pathological Relationships’
Taught by Sallie H, she will explain how painful intrusive thoughts, obsessions about him, the relationship, and cognitive dissonance all entrap women within cycles of conflictive thinking about her pathological mate. The number one complaint by women is the inability to control her intrusive and obsessive thoughts. She can often hold both thoughts of awe and dread simultaneously creating enormous anxiety for her. Other forms of treatment may be been ineffective in helping her stop thinking about him in loving and longing ways. She is trapped between reality and fantasy unable to free her self. This retreat willaddress methods that help to:
- Move beyond the pain of conflictive thinking
- Discover ways and methods to overcome intrusive, plaguing, and debilitative thoughts
- Develop Maintenance Program for mental soundness
- Learn Spiritual Insights for peace
$550 per person. Payment plans available.
Retreats are 5 days/ 4 nights and include brand new beautiful accommodations, your workshop training with two coaches, any handouts, Asheville airport pick up and drop off.
Download a Retreat Application here
Email completed application to: saferelationships@yahoo.com
Male Survivors
February 2, 2009 by
by: Michaela St. James
The Institute is frequently asked ‘What about the men? What about male survivors? Are females pathological too?’ Pathology is not gender-specific. It’s a mental health issue which means it effects men and women. There are some personality disorders that are more frequent in women and some that are more frequent in men. However, all personality disorders effect both men and women.
The disorders that occur more in women are Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), Borderline Personality
Disorder (BPD), Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD). In men, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) and Socio/psychopathy are more frequent. Yet, in both sexes any personality disorder (or mental illness for that fact), is possible.
In personality disorders, 60% of people who have one personality disorder have more than one which is why they refer to these disorders as ‘clusters.’ Clusters have overlapping symptoms in which the person is likely to have traits from other disorders within that cluster. For instance in women, many women who have Borderline Personality Disorder also have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or at least, traits of that disorder. Likewise, Histrionics can have BPD or BPD traits. The rule of thumb is the more personality disorders or disorder traits, the more difficult the relational problems and tension can be.
Women can have Anti-Social Personality Disorder or be socio/psychopaths. Ironically, studies show that women who truly are ASPD or socio/psychopaths are often under-diagnosed or mis-diagnosed as BPD only. I don’t know if it is a gender bias that doesn’t want to think about women in those levels of disorders or if the female presentation of those disorders are different and consequently not as recognized. The Institute has noticed that there are deviations in presentation of symptoms in women that are often unrecognized by their male partner.
Some of the most frequent problems with women who have personality disorders are:
* Constant Drama/Chaos
* Addiction
* Sexual Addiction/Acting Out
* Self Injury
* Eating Disorders
* Spending Problems
* Alleging violence when it has not occurred
* Parental Alienation against the male parent
* Mood instability
* Self Absorption
(It needs to be said that all women who have these symptoms are not necessarily personality disordered. For instance, not all women who have eating disorders have a personality disorder. However, many of these symptoms are seen more readily in women who do have personality disorders.)
How these symptoms are interactive in an intimate relationship is where the relational harm happens. While
personality disorders are challenging, if not out right damaging to others inter-personally, men can have specific problems in dealing with women who have personality disorders. Abuse by her, whether physical, emotional, verbal or sexual, is hard for men to come forward and admit or reach out for therapy about. It is likely that men will tolerate and experience it for long periods of time before recognizing it as abuse or doing anything about it. They are even more unlikely to discuss it with male friends or family and are often less believed by others.
Confusion over what is a personality disorder in a woman and what is hormonal changes is also an issue that men confess. They can’t tell the difference between mood fluctuations in a personality disorder and hormonal cycles. They often can’t tell the difference between ‘female emotions’ and excessive emotionality often seen in BPD and HPD. These inabilities to differentiate also contribute to their delay in getting the support they need.
These are by far, not the only symptoms or issues men face in relationships with personality disordered women. The emotional ups and downs, ‘walking on egg shells,’ and extremes in behavior are the tip of the iceberg when looking comprehensively at the big picture.
‘Why did I pick her?’ is often asked. Men, much like the women we researched in ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’ tend to be highly compassionate, empathetic, tolerant, loyal, and helpers. Seeing the chaos in her life is often a hook to men they can’t refuse and she’s willing to allow him to rescue, bail her out, or finance her lifestyle. His ability to understand his patterns of selection and the concrete facts about pathology are just as crucial for him as they are for women.
The Institute offers specialized Pathological Love Relationship coaching for men. Most of our coaches all have had male clients in these same relationships. In the near future, we hope to add male coaches who men as well. We welcome the opportunity to offer support, and coaching to those who need extra insight about their current situations.
Sandra L. Brown, M.A. who is the author of ‘How to Spot a Dangerous Man,’ ‘Counseling Victims of Violence,’ and ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’ has written a book specifically for men called ‘How to Avoid Dating Damaged and Destructive Women‘ which is about personality disorders, addictions, and other mental health issues in women that are likely to produce relational harm.
You can purchase this e-book on our site at:
https://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/category/shopping/e-books
Or sign up for phone coaching at:
https://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/category/shopping/services
3-Pack DVD Combo
December 24, 2008 by
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Buy all 3 DVD’s and save $20!
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Crash Course Box I
December 16, 2008 by
Crash Course Box IThe Institute, the leading expert in Pathlogical Love Relationships has put together a comprehensive approach to these unique and dangerous relationships.
We’ll also add a complimentary gift of:
With the Crash Course Box you are ready to work with survivors:
and more! The package includes 3 print books, 7 CD’s, a PowerPoint, a guided relaxation CD, and 3 e-books for $150 plus shipping/handling. Download links are emailed to your PayPal email address after your payment clears – see below for more info. Buy now $150
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Crash Course Box II
December 15, 2008 by
The Crash Course Box IIThe Institute, the leading expert in Pathlogical Love Relationships has put together a comprehensive approach to these unique and dangerous relationships.
(Many survivors give some of these products to their own counselors who need better understanding of the pathological relationship dynamics.) We’ll also add a complimentary gift of:
With the Crash Course Box you are ready to work with survivors:
Download links are emailed to your PayPal email address after your payment clears – see below for more info.
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Understanding Destructive & Pathological Relationships
October 1, 2008 by
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Core training for understanding the basic of psychopathology related to personality disorders (especially narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) and the impact on personal relationships with them.This training includes:
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Healing the Aftermath–Recovery for Wounded Women
October 1, 2008 by
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Taken from the material from our intensive retreat program, this self help DVD gives in depth insight into the crazy-making dynamics of the Pathological Love Relationship—which is like no other relationship. Understand how the relationship dynamics creates intrusive thoughts, intensity of attachment, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and mind control-like experiences.Learn the never-before revealed temperament traits of people who are attracted to, and tolerant of, the most disordered population and what it is that keeps them ‘in’ the relationship.Break free with our step-by-step exercises developed to reduce intrusive thoughts and anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms, increase mindfulness, and stop the obsessive thinking about the relationship.
We are the only program focused exclusively on healing the aftermath of exposure to the most disordered population. |
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Understanding Pathology and Its Affect on Relational Health
October 1, 2008 by
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This clinical training for mental health professionals will supply excellent educational information for therapists to begin to immediately spot and treat the aftermath of pathological relationships—no more merely labeling them ‘codependent’ or ‘relationship addicts.’ You will have a clear and compelling understanding of this dynamic!
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Leaders PowerPoint Program for Churches
October 1, 2008 by
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Understanding and Healing from Pathological Relationships Workshop PowerPoint (For Christian Women): Leaders PowerPoint Program for Churches. A 2.5 hour PowerPoint filled with pictures, graphics, scriptures related to abuse and pathology, and over 100 PowerPoint slides that detail the concepts regarding pathological relationships, and what makes for healthy relationships and marriages. Easy to use and follow. Makes an excellent presentation. |
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Leaders PowerPoint Program for the Community
October 1, 2008 by
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Understanding and Healing from Pathological Relationships Workshop Leaders PowerPoint Program for the Community. A 2.5 hour PowerPoint filled with pictures, graphics, and over 100 PowerPoint slides that detail the concepts regarding pathological and often destructive relationships. Easy to use and follow. Makes an excellent presentation. |
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PowerPoint Collection
October 1, 2008 by
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Buy the 2-CD PowerPoint Collection and save $30!
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Maintaining Mindfulness in the Midst of Obsession
October 1, 2008 by
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Do you find your mind straying back to him?
Wondering “How he could do that?” “How could he get away with it?” “How did I miss the red flags in his behavior?” Do you find it hard to concentrate on your work and move forward with your life, because your mind keeps cycling back to him and the relationship? Are you losing sleep replaying conversations you had with him, obsessing about where you went wrong? Do you want to move forward and heal your life, but feel these thoughts are holding you back? Take heart – there is hope for healing. You are not alone. Intrusive thoughts and obsessions are the number one complaint in recovering from the aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships. As you learn to manage your thinking, you will reduce obsessive thoughts about the relationship and reduce anxiety. This therapeutic set includes three pieces – 1 e-book and 2 audio CDs. The e-book teaches you:
The 1st CD contains exercises to increase Mindfulness and reduce intrusive thoughts and obsessions. The 2nd CD contains Mindfulness Chimes to remind you to be Mindful. Break the cycle and begin your healing now.
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Audio Workshop MP3’s
October 1, 2008 by
The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction MP3 & Audio Power Point Series
Intensity of Attachment 2.5 Hour Tele-seminar Workshop Audio + Power Point
Sandra’s in-depth teaching on why these relationships are so much more intense than others and why they are so hard to detach from.
Instant Download .mp3 format
$20
Get a Great Life
Instant Download
$12
“Understanding the Face of Dangerousness”
Instant Download
$12
“Personality Disorders and Pathology”
Instant Download
$12
“Understanding Your Survival Signals”
Instant Download
$12
“Dating Choices That Are Harmful”
Instant Download
$12
“Breaking Up 1, Breaking Up 2”
Instant Download 2 .mp3s
$20
“Rebuilding Self-Esteem (Christian Version)”
Instant Download mp3
$20
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“Rebuilding Self-Esteem (Community Version)”
Instant Download mp3
$20
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Download links will be provided after payment is received. Make sure you look for your link so you don’t miss your download!
