Search Results for: super traits

Genetic and Neuro-Physiological Basis for Hyper-Empathy

June 21, 2016 by sandra

I heard a universal “sigh of relief” go out around the world as women read the title of this article. Don’t you feel better knowing there really IS some science backing the whole issue of having way too much empathy?

When we began writing about women who love psychopaths, anti-socials, sociopaths and narcissists, we already assumed that maybe you did have too much empathy (as well as other elevated temperament traits). We just didn’t know how much, or why. When we began the actual testing for the research of the book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, we learned just how much empathy you had.

Do I need to tell you? WAY TOO MUCH!

By now you have probably already suspected that your super-high empathy is what got you in trouble in this pathological relationship. But did you know there is hard science behind what we suspected about what is going on in your relationship with your Super Trait of high empathy? It really IS all in your head—and your genes.

In fact, these genes influence the production of various brain chemicals that can influence just how much empathy you have. These brain chemicals include those that influence orgasm and its effect on how bonded you feel, while also influencing some aspects of mental health. (No, no! That is not a good mix!)

Other brain chemicals influence how much innate and learned fear you have. However, females don’t seem to assess threats well, and the chemicals then increase their social interactions while at the same time they are not assessing fear and threats well. (This is not a good thing!)

One of the final chemical effects delays your reflexes (like not getting out of the relationship), and also impacts your short- and long-term memory (how you easily store good memories that are very strong, and how you store bad memories which are easily forgotten). And, since it is genetic, it can run in entire families that produce gullible and trusting individuals who seem to just keep getting hurt.

Of course, the reverse is also true. Genes can influence the absence of various brain chemicals that influence how little empathy a person has. We already know in great detail how this affects those with personality disorders. Personality disordered people (especially Cluster B disorders) struggle with not experiencing, or not having, any empathy.

Over the past few years, we have been writing about various aspects of personality disorders and the brain. This has included the issue of brain imaging. What we are finding out is how brain structure and chemicals can affect personality, empathy, behavior and, consequently, the behavior in relationships. As advances are made in the field of neurobiology, we are learning more and more of what The Institute has always believed—that there is a lot of biology behind personality development issues such as personality disorders. Genetics and neurobiology are proving that behavior associated with narcissism, borderline, and anti-social personality disorders, along with psychopathy, has as much to do with brain wiring and chemistry as it does with behavioral intent.

The Institute has long said to survivors that personality disorders are not merely willful behavior, but brain deficits that control how much empathy, compassion, conscience, guilt, insight, and change a person is capable of. Autism and personality disorders share a common thread as “empathy spectrum disorders” now being studied extensively within the field of neuroscience.

But, in some opposite ways, the women also share a common thread of an empathy disorder—hyper-empathy. We are coming to understand that hyper-empathy has much to do with your innate temperament. You come into the world wired with the personality you have – the genetic predispositions to high or low empathy, and brain chemistry configurations that contribute to levels of empathy. The old thinking, which assumes women with high empathy are merely doormats, is not scientifically correct when looking at current studies.

Neuroscience, with all its awesome information, has the dynamic power to blow us all out of the murky waters of assuming that our behavior is merely a reflection of our will. As neuroscience graces our minds with new understanding of how our brains work, it brings with it incredible freedom to understand our own traits and the pathological traits of others.

For a mind-blowing book on the genetic and neurobiology of not only personality disorders but evil as well, read Barbara Oakley’s book, Evil Genes, or her latest book on hyper-empathy entitled, Cold-Blooded Kindness. Information on your Super Traits is in the award-winning Women Who Love Psychopaths, which is also taught during retreats, in phone sessions, and in training for mental health professionals.

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more information.)

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

History of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education

Genesis 1983

The Institute was birthed, or perhaps I should say ‘death-ed’ on May 13, 1983 when my father, renowned musician Frankie Brown, was murdered. By mistake, I was taken to the murder scene, which hadn’t yet been cleaned up, where I witnessed his bloody hand prints splayed on a parked car – the final moments of his life where he struggled to stand up after what would be fatal stab wounds. His aorta had been hit and had glugged massive amounts of blood onto the car and into the gutter—a scene no one should ever see, much less a 26-year-old daughter just 10 days before her wedding.

Those bloody handprints, seared into my brain like only PTSD can do., changed my life was forever in a moment’s notice. Those bloody hand prints flashed in and out my brain, dragging my emotional carcass along, in a trauma reaction that would last for years – in all reality, for the rest of my life.

But what became of it, at least as intrusive a thought as those bloody hand prints were, was the burning question “Who does that?” I had no idea how poignant that phrase would come to be in the totality of my life and what lay ahead of me as an impending career.

Yes, I had been told the ‘explanations’ of how that murder came to pass but I was more fixated on ‘why’ people can harm others, why there was an absence of conscience or remorse, or why, after I saw the perpetrator’s criminal history, there were ‘enduring patterns of behavior’ that keep repeating. The ‘why’ of the behavior motivation was not nearly as curious to me as the ‘why’ of his hard-wiring.

In the mere five seconds it took for someone to utter the words “Your father has been murdered”, my life as a happy 26-year-old ended and my life as a homicide survivor began—in all its legality and probate, in all of its parole hearings, in all of its flashbacks, in all of its pathology, basically, in all of its horror. I did not work in the field of psychology then, or even victim services, but on May 13, 1983, I became an advocate that day–although it would take years for my life to resemble anything that looked like functional advocacy.

For two years I was house bound with the shackles of unrelenting PTSD that kept me in flash-backs and ruminating the bloody hand prints and “Who Does That?” — trapped internally in a video and an audio that seemed like it would never end.

One day, out of desperation for me, a friend pulled out a phone book and began calling counselors and agencies trying to find someone – anyone – who knew how to help a homicide survivor with PTSD. Sadly, no one knew how.

I contemplated my life lived like this — without help, without an answer, without techniques, without a future of normalcy, without functionality. I cursed my life and said it should never be like this—that help for unusual circumstances be non-existent and I wondered how I could make it different, IF, if ever I got well.

A Ray of Light

Eventually, my friend located one of the country’s first pilot group therapy programs for homicide survivors and it was happening in the county where I lived! Twelve weeks later I was significantly improved and wanted to make sure others who lost a loved one to murder could find help too. I stayed on with the pilot group, wrote a grant, opened an office, accompanied survivors to their murder trials and began teaching others how to help homicide survivors.

But I was just a young woman with only a marketing background and without any real understanding, other than my personal symptoms, what PTSD was about. While I wanted to advocate for help being available, still running inside my mind was that ruminating question — “No conscience? Who does that?” The distraction of that internal existential echo was still deeply and persistently on my mind.

Late 1980s

After experiencing the murder and the catastrophic effects of PTSD, the logical conclusion of this experience would be that it would lead me to go to college for psychology, right? But I could not have been more surprised to end up in school for Theology, of all things. And yet even knee deep in school studying the theology of a God who was responsible for all of creation including the evolution of man-gone-wrong, was now the psychological question that turned into a spiritual question “No conscience? Who does that?”

It was during theology school in the late 1980s that I decided I was going to try to open a center for trauma victims. To do that, I decided I needed a better understanding of PTSD outside of my own experience. While I was still in theology school, I began traveling around the U.S. catching training in PTSD wherever I could and being tantalized by the neurobiology lectures on PTSD by Bessel van der Kolk and others. That training would become invaluable to me.

When I felt as if I had a handle on PTSD (mine, as well as the theory concept), I opened Bridgework, a 501c3 – a trauma disorder center that eventually became a personality disorder trauma center. Our clientele were largely females with histories involving personality disorders and trauma, a challenging combination for treatment that most counselors avoided. Somehow, I felt compelled that somewhere in Bridgework there was an answer to the question that had already spent five years rattling around in my head.

Early 1990s

In the early 1990s, I went back to school for my Master’s Degree in Counseling while simultaneously, and insanely, continuing to run Bridgework. Bridgework was rapidly growing and at its pinnacle, grew to 80 patients a week. Therapies included trauma survivor groups, groups for partners of Cluster B disorders, groups for children of Cluster Bs, art therapy groups, Psychomotor groups, and trainings for other therapists on how to work with Cluster B disorders.

Poignantly, later in 1991 – on September 30^th, my father’s birthday – my first book, Counseling Victims of Violence, came out as a desk top reference for all forms of traumatic victimization.

Shortly after the release of the counseling book, I began writing about the tumultuous relationship dynamics of borderlines, narcissists, anti-socials and psychopaths and the poor confused states of their partners and children. From the mouths of our 80+ patients a week, I created the dynamic-based material for our Partners of Cluster B group therapy, for our individual counseling sessions with our Cluster B patients, for our Children of Cluster B group therapy, and for our Florida Training for Treating Cluster Bs.

I spent the early and mid-1990s traveling the highways and byways of personality disorder treatment training, acquiring the most up-to-date and the best-there-was in how to bring stability to the rocky world of personality disordered trauma survivors. This included training in Cognitive Behavioral Treatment (CBT), the hot new therapy then, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Psychomotor Therapy, Schema-Focused Therapy, various approaches in Emotional Regulation, Hypnosis, Mindfulness/Grounding Therapy and Trauma/PTSD treatment.

As an occasional adjunct, I would fill in for therapists in Batterer Intervention groups. My view of the battering behavior was different than the traditionally trained domestic violence counselor because my training was highly focused on the psychopathology. For chronic and repeating batterers, I heard the same stories and behaviors that their partners (the survivors) told me in treatment. Even in the children’s art therapy groups for Children of Cluster Bs, the same stories of behavior, warped logic and thinking, irresponsibility, and the absence of conscience were woven in the stories of the children and survivors. During that time period, I began working part time for an inpatient women’s trauma program hearing similar stories of the reduced conscience, insight, and lack of behavioral changes in the women’s pathological partners.

One day, during a session in which a personality disordered patient was telling the 5,000^th rendition of why they did what they did to their partner, and why they were the victim in it, and why they were not accountable for their behavior, I had another rerun of my decade old question ‘Who Does That?’ But in that rerun, I had an epiphany… “THEY do that!” I found myself saying – no, knowing—really knowing. At the core of personality disorders woven in with the impulsivity problems was also the impact of reduced conscience and remorse—hardwired like an electrical cord.

I realized the realities of what The Institute now calls The Three Inabilities© — that persons with Cluster B/psychopathy have the inability to:

Grow to any authentic emotional or spiritual depth;
Sustain consistent positive, non-manipulative, growth; and
Have insight about how their behaviors (and disorder) affects others.

During that session, I thought… “What am I doing? WHY am I doing this? Some day in the near future we are going to find the neuro abnormalities associated with these disorders and we will stop all these attempts at behavioral changes with them because we will understand – these disorders do not change. This isn’t about trauma. It’s about neurology.”

Late 1990s

That epiphany led me, nearly immediately, to pack up the counseling center. I needed R&R so I moved to the beautiful mountains of North Carolina where I aired my brain out from too many pathological clients and restored myself by the quietness and hiking for a year. It had been 15 years since I first asked ‘Who Does That?’ on May 13, 1983 and I felt that, decades and hundreds of patients later, I was coming to a profound understanding about it.

After a bit of much needed respite, I took a one year grant-based job with the Asheville and Buncombe County School System where I was the Director of the At-Risk Program in seven schools. I considered my job to be one to help children live with the dynamics of their pathological home lives and to case manage solutions. Once again, I was staring into the face of pathology and its effect on the family. At the end of the grant year, the gnawing effects of pathology on society, cultural, and family was looming as one of the most negatively impactful situations that we face today, at least in my thinking.

I wondered what I could do about it….

Early 2000s

In the laid-back environment of living on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere, I began reorganizing the material I had used in the 1990s for training counselors and survivors about personality disorders and their relationships and feeling perhaps another book was coming on. I just didn’t realize how immediate the writing of it would be.

Shortly after, in the early 2000s I worked briefly for a domestic violence shelter and was running group when one of the women in group announced that this was her fourth or fifth time back in the shelter. I asked her if she knew what we were failing her with and if she kept returning, was there something she needed to learn to interrupt the cycle she was in that we weren’t currently giving her? Everything she described screamed that her partner was not merely temperamental or stressed, but clearly had a Cluster B or psychopathic disorder. Merely labeling him as ‘abusive’ was a far cry from what was really the dynamic that was happening there.

She said, “Yes I need help in how to spot a dangerous man before I get involved. And what makes someone dangerous other than violence?”

I said, “I can do that.”

I blew the dust off all the material I had written in the 1980s and 1990s and had been reorganizing about personality disorders and relationships and created a program on personality disorders for the DV shelter. During group, we discussed personality ‘types’ which became the chapters of the book How to Spot a Dangerous Man BEFORE You Get Involved.

The shelter clients were quickly grabbing on to the concepts of personality types and personality disorders and having ‘light bulb’ moments that helped them differentiate abusers who could change with counseling, and those who were hard-wired against change.

2004

In 2004, I wrote a book proposal about exactly that—the types of dangerousness and who could change and who would probably not and why. I titled it after what that client had asked, How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved. I sent it to twelve publishers and got responses from 10 who were interested. I sold the book within one week. I knew then the tide was changing for the understanding of personality disordered relationship problems and I was fairly certain a new genre of counseling related to personality disorders and relationships was rumbling.

Quickly, the concepts of Pathological Love Relationships (now often called Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, Toxic Relationships) exploded. I began a website called Safe Relationships (which morphed into Safe Relationships Magazine which morphed into The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education which it is today).

2005

The Dangerous Man book became a good seller for the publisher and an even better media hook. I was in nine cities in five months on book tours, dozens of radio shows, and national TV shows all across the country, in multiple major newspapers with the relational dynamics of personality disordered partners, and even made it through some preliminary interviews with producers of the Oprah show. Our How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook was published as well as our Facilitators Guide for running Dangerous Man Groups which was being utilized by schools, colleges, and in women’s prison systems.

2006

The Institute (then called Safe Relationships) began offering phone recovery sessions. We launched our survivor retreat program and a weekly newsletter which quickly grew to thousands of readers. We also became columnists for several onsite pathology-oriented blogs, websites, and magazines.

A second edition of our book, Counseling Victims of Violence: A Handbook for Professionals 2^nd Ed, was released and became a well-respected reference for the counseling and victimology fields. I began doing psychology lectures on the topic of personality disorders and pathological love relationships, and continued with radio and TV appearances.

2007

Our relational dynamics explanations were consistently being updated and expanded and discussed in our newsletter, websites, and e-book products that were coming onto the market and were driven by the client information we were collecting from our sessions. We launched our first aftermath symptom survey with survivors, acquiring early data on trauma-specific symptoms. Our theory about Cognitive Dissonance as a trauma symptom was released in articles, newsletters, and became the topic of our e-book, Maintaining Mindfulness in the Midst of Obsession, as well as mps3 lectures. This Cognitive Dissonance theory is what would impact and drive our treatment development model.

2008

I began the writing of my next book, Women Who Love Psychopaths First Edition, with a focus on aftermath symptoms and my theory about unusual personality traits in the survivors that were contributing to targeting by pathological partners and causing difficulty for the women in extracting themselves from the relationship. I termed these ‘Super Traits.’ The first edition launched a second survivor survey utilizing a temperament inventory assessment tool, The TCI by Dr. Robert Klonninger, to measure personality elevations. As I expected, elevations were indeed noted. The first book ever written about relational dynamics and personalities of women in pathological love relationships, Women Who Love Psychopaths, was released . As soon as the book came out, I continued collecting data on survivor’s aftermath and relational dynamics for the next book.

The findings about the survivor trait elevations were presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy at their annual conference.

I began offering recovery sessions by phone and introduced our 1:1 Intensives which were five days of personalized recovery services done in blocks of four to five hours per day. My first client was a woman from The Netherlands who flew all the way to the U.S. for help.

2009

For the entire year, the phone session outreach continued to grow, in fact, so much so that I developed a formalized Model of Care approach for session-by-session treatment or support. We offered our first Treating the Aftermath Therapist Training and began an in-house referral program of clients to therapists who had been trained by The Institute. And we began offering five day group retreats utilizing our Model of Care approach for treatment.

From our survivor data collection and my experience with our Model of Care approach, I began rewriting and expanding the 1^st edition of the Women Who Love Psychopaths book.

2010

With increased focus on aftermath, recovery, and the psychological impact (trance, hypnotic induction, suggestibility, cognitive dissonance) the 2^nd edition of Women Who Love Psychopaths was released. It was the only book on the market that defined the pathological love relationships of Cluster B partners.

With the growing increase of phone sessions, 1:1 intensives, and retreats, The Institute opened a free standing retreat center and office which prolifically increased the number of survivors who could be helped through various arms of our program.

I became a Board member for an international organization for training allied professionals in issues related to domestic violence. The list of professional entities included law enforcement, social services, sexual assault nurses, prosecutors, and judges. I provided a judicial training in San Diego on the Neuroscience of Batterers Brains and, later that year, spoke at Thomas Jefferson Law School in the Ruth Ginsberg Series, Women, Domestic Violence and the Law.

2011

I taught the principles of pathological love relationship dynamics, aftermath, cognitive dissonance, and treatment approaches to the San Diego American Psychological Association in an eight-hour lecture workshop. I appeared on Anderson Cooper, CNN, CNN.com, and filmed The Psychopath Next Door documentary through the Canadian Broadcast Corp with other psychopathy experts including Dr. Robert Hare. I began writing our column on Relational Harm Reduction for Psychology Today.

2012

We added Dr. Rhonda Freeman with her focus on the neuroscience of Cluster Bs and portions of her Neurobiological Impact on Survivors of Cluster B to our Treating the Aftermath Therapist Training.

I offered our training on personality disorders and relationships to the US Army Psychologists & Family Advocacy Program and the State of Georgia Commission on Family Violence.

2013

The Institute began their own Blog Talk Radio Show, Relational Harm Reduction Radio, with shows focused on pathology, recovery, personality disorders, and pathological love relationships. Dr. Rhonda Freeman was a featured guest on the neuroscience of the brain and the impacts from trauma.

I appeared on NPR on a national show on psychopathy and survivors sharing our Super Trait theory.

The Institute began formalizing their approach for more detailed research on our Super Trait theory by reaching out to universities to assist in research.

Our therapist training, phone sessions, retreats and 1:1s programs continued.

2014-2016

Most notably, we engaged with Purdue University in establishing a collaborative relationship to initiate a formalized research on Women in Relationships with Cluster B/Psychopathic Males. The findings of the research are currently under development and will be published very soon.

The Institute launched our Affordable Recovery Program with a line of services that include online classes and seminars.

We added writers Dr. Rhonda Freeman on Neuroscience and Attorney Sherri Renner on issues of litigation and PLRs to our weekly Newsletter and website columns.

The Institute began the development of the first genre-specific professional association, The Association for NPD/Psychopathy Educators & Treatment Providers, for field specific training, research and publication of NPD/Psychopathy Victim Syndromes.

We continue to explore and develop products and services for survivors, and outreach efforts to provide further education and information on Cluster B disorders and effective treatment for survivors of Pathological Love Relationships.

Media Appearances

Sandra has been seen or heard on:

Television and Video

“Doc Zone” by The Canadian Broadcast Corporation (CBC) with Dr. Robert Hare and Dr Stephen Porter (re-aired through The National Geographic Channel in the U.S.)

Doc Zone – The Psychopath Next Door

Interviews by Michael Cross, UCY-TV’s “Unlock the Door”, featuring Sandra L. Brown

Women Who Love Psychopaths: Sandra L. Brown Interview, Part 1
Women Who Love Psychopaths: Sandra L. Brown Interview, Part 2

Interviews by Jenna Stauffer, “Good Morning, Florida Keys”, featuring Sandra L. Brown

Podcasts

____________________________________________________________________

Radio

NEW – A Fine Time for Healing with Randi Fine

Relational Harm Reduction Radio

Hay House Radio with Dr. Christiane Northrup

Mental Health News Radio (Everything EHR)

The West Coast Trauma Project

SOTT Radio Show

Rob Kall Show

The Roth Show

Civil Radio Budapest with Zsuzsa Feher, interviews on Women Who Love Psychopaths

Times Up! Radio Shows with Susan Murphy Milano

_________________________________________________________________

Print

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit meets Illinois Hearsay Law

Forbes Magazine: Why We Love Psychopaths

7 Traits Psychopaths are Attracted To, SheKnows.com

Books in Foreign Languages

Among numerous other languages, our “How To Spot A Dangerous Man” has been translated and released in the Czech Republic, in Japanese, and in Italian!

The Institute’s Research History

1990-1991 Victimization and Treatment Issues

The Institute (then called Bridgework) began their interest with research as early as 1991 in our first book Counseling Victims of Violence First Edition’where we researched and catalogued appropriate crisis, short term, and long term approaches to victimizations creating a treatment consideration for various typologies of victimization.

Late 1990’s Historical Data Collection on Relational Dynamics of Personality Disordered Relationships

The Institute (then called Bridgework) was involved in Historical Qualitative research, gathering data over a number of years on relational dynamics of personality disordered relationships.

2007 Case Study Research on A Survivor’s Relational Dynamics with a Cluster B Partner

The Institute expanded their development of relational dynamics theory of Pathological Love Relationships first through an in depth Case Study Qualitative Research of a survivor’s relationship with a Cluster B disordered partner.

2007 Grounded Theory Research Outcome on Relational Dynamics in a Pathological Love Relationship

This lead to the development of a Grounded Theory outcome related to Pathological Love Relationship dynamics documented in our White Paper articles on our website and in the first book ever written about the relationship dynamics about women in relationships with psychopaths in the First Edition Women Who Love Psychopaths book. This theory helped to explain the early, mid, late, and post relationship dynamics as well as the impact of these dynamics on the survivor leading to aftermath symptoms.

2007 Aftermath Symptom Survey

During the writing and evaluation of aftermath symptoms for the book Women Who Love Psychopaths First Edition, The Institute conducted a Symptom Survivor Survey to document types of aftermath trauma-specific reactions, responses, and symptoms.

2007 Grounded Theory Outcomes on Cognitive Dissonance as Psychological and Neuro Injury & Self Perception Injury

Both the Relational Dynamics Theory and the Aftermath Symptom Survey influenced the development of a qualitative Grounded Theory Outcome on Cognitive Dissonance as the primary psychological injury from Pathological Love Relationships and its self-perception schematic distortion impact. This theory was described in White Paper articles on our website, in our books, products, digital products, power points and other teaching materials.

2008 Temperament Character Inventory Assessment—Research on Women’s Personality Traits in Relationships with Cluster B/Psychopathic Partners

During the writing of the First Edition Women Who Love Psychopaths book, The TCI (Klonninger) was used on a female sample of 75 women for personality trait elevations. The outcomes of that research developed our theory of the Women’s ‘Super Traits’ reflecting proclivities to being attracted to, and tolerant of, psychopathological partners. Trait-targeting Theory was also discussed. This was the first documented research of women’s personalities in relationships with pathological partners. The outcome was published in the First Edition book, as White Paper articles on our site, on other Psychology-oriented sites.

2010 Expanded Theory Development Related to Relational Dynamics, Hypnotic/Trance/Suggestibility of Survivors, Word and Language Differentials in Pathological Relationships, Pathological Dichotomous Behavior and the Development of Cognitive Dissonance as Trauma, Personality Super Traits of women in relationships with Cluster B partners.

2^nd Edition of Women Who Love Psychopaths enhanced the expansion of the relational dynamics, postulated hypnotic and trance influences, highlighted word and language differentials between pathological and non-pathological partners, and theorized that pathological dichotomous behavior impacted the development of cognitive dissonance as presenting trauma. Expanded understanding on personality Super Traits taken from Case Studies was also expounded on, in the book, White Paper articles, in training materials, and widely on the internet.

2014 Quantitative Empirical Collaborative University Research: Personality Traits of Women in Relationships with Cluster B/Psychopathic Male Partners, Purdue University

Collaboratively performed with Purdue University, utilizing the Five Factor Model and Five Factor Form, a large sample of over 600 women completed the research supporting earlier research with The TCI that personality ‘super’ trait elevations exist in multiple domains. This is the first university supported research on this population of women in pathological love relationships. Findings are currently in the process of publication.

The Unexamined Victim: Women Who Love Psychopaths

April 12, 2016 by sandra

“We can’t prevent what we don’t identify, we can’t treat what we don’t diagnose. And we can’t teach how to spot them unless we understand pathology ourselves.”

Millions of dollars have been spent researching and writing about psychopaths while almost nothing has been spent, either in terms of time or money, on the profoundly disturbing byproduct of psychopathy – its victims. Since male psychopaths outnumber the female variety by about 3 or 4 to 1, I’ll be talking mainly about female victims of male psychopaths in this article.

Despite the fact that psychopaths devastate everyone in their path including the women and children who love them, why have clinicians not seen fit to study and write about the single most obvious source of insight into this issue: the survivors of intimate relationships with psychopaths? The study of any disease involves carefully collecting and examining its symptoms, and psychopathy is definitely a societal disease. Even our legal system gathers information about criminals by taking testimony from on-site, first hand witnesses. So again, I ask: why is there no clinical material about – much less interest in – the psychopath’s partner?

I think one answer is that therapists don’t recognize her as a victim of psychopathy because they usually don’t recognize him as a psychopath! On the rare occasion when a psychopath’s victim is identified, she is lumped together with more typical domestic violence survivors; or labeled as co-dependent, a relationship/sex addict, and/or assumed to be suffering dependent personality-disorder. These inaccurate and often biased explanations of pathological love relationships have neither helped victims find specific treatment for their unique relationship dynamics and aftermath symptoms, nor have they contributed (as they could) to our knowledge of psychopathy itself. It’s a travesty within the clinical profession that the victims are not more readily identified or better understood and that this rich source of vital information has not been mined.

I came into the field of pathology through the back door – I was not looking to work with Cluster B relationships (i.e., with narcissistic, antisocial, histrionic, and borderline personality disorders; personality disorders are grouped into one of three clusters based on common characteristics) – I was just trying to offer counseling to victims of crime. However, going through that door led me into a whole career within the field of psychopathology and, after 20 years of ‘treating’ personality-disordered people, I gained a new appreciation for the depth of permanent devastation caused by what Otto Kernberg called the “dangerous and severe personality disorders.” These severe disorders affect not only the sufferer, but family members, partners, friends, children, and even the therapists themselves. I continue to be overwhelmed by the fact that the therapeutic progress of those with personality disorders is measured in millimeters, while the devastation they leave behind is measured in miles.

After years of working with the disordered, my focus began to shift; I realized that my time and energy would be far more fruitfully spent helping those who didn’t recognize the oncoming pathological in their lane of life. The problem was clear: women became victims because they didn’t recognize the difference between normal personality diversity and the signs and symptoms of pathology. Despite the fact that most personality disordered individuals can hide for some period of time behind a ‘mask of sanity’, there are signs and symptoms that the non-clinician can learn about and thereby avoid some of the most devastating life events known to our society. I noticed the ‘dangerous man’ experiences from which women were healing were largely due to two types of pathology: narcissists and the whole antisocial end of the pathology spectrum, which includes antisocial personality disorders, sociopaths and psychopaths. And so, I initiated psychopathology education for the community-at-large. Through one of my earlier books How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved I focused on the effects that Cluster B personality disorders can have on a relationship, coining the term ‘relationships of inevitable harm’.

As I counseled victims of the personality disordered, learning things from them that made my hair stand on end, I wondered why others had not bothered to study the persons who were exposed to the most dangerous relationships on the planet! If the field of violence prevention had been around since the 1970s, why wasn’t this pool of potential homicide-risk victims better identified for prevention or treatment at the very least? Why had no one ever thought to collect the precious data they – and they alone – could provide?

As one of the first therapists to extensively study the clinical aspects of the partners of psychopaths, I was fascinated to discover that these women were remarkably similar in personality traits. Their stories of their relationship dynamics were comparable, and their aftermath symptoms identical. At the same time, despite the therapeutic mislabeling mentioned above, and the societal misunderstanding of them, women who loved psychopaths didn’t turn out to fit any of those labels! It was ironic that there was so much similarity between all of them, but none of it had anything to do with the labels which had been assigned to them!

The Institute, which I founded, conducted an in-depth study of over 75 women worldwide (and has recently completed a study with more than 600 respondents that shows the same results). The initial intensive survey collected data, relationship stories, histories, symptoms, temperament traits, and characteristic behaviors along with the dynamics of their interactions with pathological partners. This victim-based research brought into sharp focus the long-missing issue of their unusual relationship dynamics and their often masked aftermath of symptomatology. (For more information read Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists 2nd ed., Sandra L. Brown, M.A.) It also highlighted some unusual aspects that only psychopaths could bring to, and perpetrate in, an intimate relationship. This was shocking insight into the dynamics of the psychopathic lifestyle.

Here is what was discovered:

Educated and otherwise well-adjusted women described entrancement or ‘vortexing’ into relationships with psychopaths who have extraordinary skills for exploiting the suggestibility of others.
The psychopath lured them through a form of hypnotic induction into trance states which contributed to how strongly women can be ‘held’ in these relationships.
The role of intensity of attachment and fear affected her perception of sexual and relational bonding with psychopaths.
The ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ dichotomous personality of the psychopath coupled with ‘crazy-making’ relationship dynamics aided the development of cognitive dissonance in the victims, weakening an otherwise strong emotional constitution.
The victim aftermath symptoms either resembled or were in fact post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), even without physical violence.
Recent breakthroughs in neuroscience explained brain differences in psychopaths (and other Cluster Bs). It aided the clinical understanding of the permanent hard-wiring nature of these disorders. While we hope this eventually adjusts the erroneous belief that psychopathology is not merely willful behavior, it is evident that the lack of education for victims has hindered their ability to understand the permanence of these disorders; victims continue to assume batterer intervention or therapy will change the psychopath.

The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women’s unique and astounding elevated ‘super traits’ of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural ‘balance’ to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.

While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about these dangerous relationships, and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim’s temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, “That’s a crock of crap! You’re telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don’t believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child.” These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.

As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary ‘super traits’ of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:

- Extraversion and Excitement Seeking. (Psychopaths are also extraverts and excitement seekers.) In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
- Relationship Investment. The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.
- Attachment. She has a deep bonding capacity.
- Competitiveness. She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground. Again, not the co-dependent type at all.
- Low Harm Avoidance. She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is. In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood. In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kid as children.
- Cooperation.
- Hyper-empathy. This can actually be genetic.
- Responsibility and Resourcefulness.

I think we can all agree that these sound like outstanding women in all respects! These stellar qualities don’t look like a problem at first glance, but some of these traits were measured in the range of 97% higher than average, proving that even too much of a good thing can be bad.

What happens when you put all this together:

Too much empathy

+ high bonding

+ high sentimentality

+ and low harm avoidance?

= You get inevitable harm.

You get fabulous women who love deeply, who have a big heart, who get much out of their relationships and who tend to trust openly because they believe that everyone is as good and decent and loving as they are. What’s more, their super-traits make them able to hold fast to that belief in the face of some of the most horrifying evidence to the contrary imaginable.

While finding these kinds of off-the-chart trait combinations sounds foreboding, it is actually good news. We can’t prevent what we don’t identify. We can’t treat what we don’t diagnose. And we can’t teach how to spot them unless we understand pathology ourselves. With this new understanding we have the ability and possibility to use this information to develop targeted and appropriate survivor treatment programs and – more importantly – to design Public Psychopathy Education targeted at those who are most at risk for developing or sustaining relationships with individuals of the psychopathic ilk.

Since the first printing of Women Who Love Psychopaths, I have spent years using this specific information and developing new approaches in our treatment programs. I designed the programs exclusively for women emerging from relationships with psychopathic men. After treating hundreds of clients I have learned a great deal about the unique aspects of the destructive consequences that these women experience in the aftermath of these relationships. I have added that new data related to these findings later in the book.

Both my understanding and my clients’ intimate first-hand knowledge of psychopathy are different from many conventional and even clinical writings about the psychopath. Considering how the women came to know what they do know, it should be different. My understanding about the disorder has grown out of my unique experiences treating the psychopath’s victims who have shared their personal life-destroying lessons about their encounters. When you approach the subject of psychopathy through the outcome of victimization, the view and insights are wider and deeper.

My perspective may differ from other psychopathy researchers who work primarily with criminal psychopaths in the prison system or those researchers who work in laboratories, as well as from instructors in academia who teach about psychopathology. In most of those cases, the only psychopathic subjects available for study or report are those who were caught or incarcerated. In the cases in the book, the psychopaths are primarily not, and have never been, incarcerated. They are what you might call ‘successful psychopaths’.

This factor highlights one difference in the book’s approach. I based the psychopath profiles on information provided by their intimate partners – not through standardized research approaches which depend, to a great extent, on ‘self-reporting’ by the psychopaths themselves. (This is problematical at best since lying is one of the chief characteristics of the psychopath.) The women answered detailed questions about the psychopath’s behaviors and their unique relationship dynamics. Experience taught me that you can learn a great deal from how victims and witnesses describe the psychopath’s behaviors. Words and actions, closely observed over long periods of time, provide a rich source of data from which to infer the psychopath’s mental landscape.

I wrote Women Who Love Psychopaths to help the psychopath’s victims understand their unique and unprecedented at-risk status – past, present, and future. Since it was published, it has taught them how to safeguard themselves from other predators and prevent the devastation psychopathy causes. Over my 25+ years of providing counseling, I have sadly seen hundreds (if not thousands) of lives destroyed by varying levels of mixed pathology and psychopathy. This growing global pathology stands as one of the primary public mental health issues facing our world today simply because of the number of victims it will inevitably create – because that’s what psychopathy ‘does.’

More importantly, I believe this book has begun a process in the US towards Public Psychopathy Education. I believe the way to prevent psychopathic destruction within society is through public awareness education. Education can help women make better parenting choices by explaining:

the risk of psychopathic fathers passing their disorders on genetically
how psychopathic fathers emotionally damage the children they parent.

Pathological parenting always leaves its brutal and twisted world view imprinted upon impressionable souls.

To impact the public’s future knowledge, women must know what psychopathic traits look like in men. They can’t understand a psychopath until they learn what pathology in the psychopath looks like, acts like, and hides like.

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about Pathological Love Relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more information.)

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

Determination in the Life of the Survivor

June 9, 2015 by sandra

I’ve seen the look many times—hundreds of times over the past 25+ years, working with (mostly) women who are surviving a Pathological Love Relationship. There is a ‘look.’ Initially it’s a timid look—before she grasps that she really CAN survive and thrive. The look then begins to change, morphing into real belief and real power.

Ironically, I scaw the look this past week in an unlikely, but stunning face. I saw her gentleness—as did the pathological that was in her life. Your Super Traits of empathy, tolerance, caring and compassion are what make you the wonderful woman you are. These are also target traits for pathological individuals. You can just see the gentleness in the face.

Then I saw her powerlessness.

It’s that look—like you don’t know if you will ever get out, ever survive, ever find your power again. It feels as if you are being held against your will—when you remember once that you were so different—so self-assured, confident, and capable.

Many people have seen the face of unbelievable stress and worry—when you no longer trust your own judgment, ping-pong back and forth between loving and loathing him. When you can’t concentrate, focus, sleep, or even want to get up each day.

But, the greatest thing about doing this work is when women really ‘get it’ about pathology. When they understand that what’s wrong with him has nothing to do with her, and what she did or didn’t do. When she gets that ‘wild-eyed look’ that says her reality has shifted, and she realizes that what has happened to her is simply that she’s been knee-deep in pathology, and she is powerful enough to walk away.

I love that part—the paradigm shift—when a woman turns the corner in understanding, and her whole future opens up like a flower blooming!

Over the years, I have watched hundreds of women storm off into their futures having recaptured their lives, their dignity, their self-belief, and their ability to function well. It’s a beautiful and strong presence when you get to witness that happen.

Why all of the horse photos? This is Rachel Alexandra—I love her expressive face. She is a reminder to me of all the women I have worked with. She was the first filly in 85 years to win the Preakness. It awed me to see her many faces of gentleness, powerlessness, worry, thriving, and power. It reminded me that even though so much is often against you in your race to recovery from pathology, that you too—like Rachel Alexandra—can defy the odds even when they have been stacked against you that way for years! There really is something to be said for the power of belief, destiny, and desire. I believe in you!

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

When Your Symptoms Look Like Something Else

April 14, 2015 by sandra

Women tell me their therapists have diagnosed them with a variety of diagnoses, which has made them not only confused, but often ANGRY! They have been diagnosed, for instance, with disorders like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, paranoia, and other not-so-fun labels.

Most therapists are undertrained in recognizing and treating the aftermath symptoms in victims of Pathological Love Relationships. The reason you are being diagnosed with various disorders is because your symptoms are similar to those various disorders—they are mimicking true mental-health symptoms.

For instance, when your moods are swinging all over the place and you are depressed and anxious, you look bipolar. When you are cranky, highly reactive and want vengeance you look borderline. When you are scared about what he will do next, fear you’re being followed, or afraid he is spying on you so he can accuse you of something, you look paranoid. When you think things are happening that you can’t prove to other people, you look delusional.

The issue is, these are ALL normal reactions to coercion and Stockholm Syndrome, similar to those found in prisoners of war—in other words, aftermath of a Pathological

Love Relationship. In THAT context, your symptoms make perfect sense! You were coerced, your mind was played with, you felt stuck and held in a pathological relationship against your own spiritual will. You feared that your emotional and physical existence were in jeopardy. And the pathological DOES do things he never gets caught for but that you can’t prove.

In Pathological Love Relationships, women emerge with signs of PTSD, Stockholm Syndrome, and coercion. Unfortunately, not all therapists understand the overlap between PTSD, Stockholm Syndrome and coercion—which is why you are often misdiagnosed. A lot of this is discussed in my book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, in which I talk about the pathological worldview and how women acquire the pathological’s view of the world and how that entraps them in the relationship.

The symptoms of coercion are:

Isolation: The individual is deprived of social support, effectively rendering her unable to resist. This makes the individual become dependent upon her interrogator/captor. The victim then develops an intense concern with self.
Monopolization of Perception: The captor fixes his attention upon immediate predicament; fosters introspection in the victim; eliminates outside competing stimuli with the captor, so the victim can only focus on him, and frustrates all actions not consistent with her compliance to him.

(In the mid-relationship dynamics in the book, all of this is discussed. Your Super Traits are very high in what we call relationship investment and cooperation which means you are highly cooperative because you get so much enjoyment out of your relationships that you will ‘bend over backwards’ to make things work. The book discusses when the mid-relationships ‘shift’ and what happens to the women’s perspective.)

Induced Debility and Exhaustion: People subjected to this type of abuse become worn out by tension, fear and continual rushing about in an effort to meet their abuser’s standards. They must often avoid displays of fear, sorrow or rage, since these may result in ridicule or punishment. Rigid demands and requirements make the exhaustion and ability to resist even worse.
Occasional Indulgences: Serve to provide motivation to her for compliance.
Devaluing the Individual: Creates in her a fear of freedom and dependence upon him, creates feelings of helplessness, develops lack of faith in her individual capabilities.

The symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome are:

Perceived threat to one’s physical or psychological survival, and the belief that the captor would carry out the threat.
Perceived small kindnesses from the captor to the captive.
Perceived inability to escape.
Isolation from perspectives other than those of the captor.

When you look at it as a mixture of PTSD, Stockholm Syndrome and coercion, your symptoms make perfect sense… at least to me! While that doesn’t mean you can’t also have bipolar or other disorders—it’s too early to know. Very often many of the symptoms of other disorders fall by the wayside when effective and appropriate treatment is begun. Many of the women do, however, meet the criteria for PTSD. PTSD is most associated with war vets (and yes, you too lived through a war!) and trauma victims (yes, you were traumatized!). To that end, you probably do have a disorder, but it is related to PTSD or other acute stress disorders.

Be hopeful that the symptoms you live with may not always be as problematic as they are in your life today. There is hope and healing available!

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

The Challenge of Being Thankful

November 25, 2014 by sandra

“Rest and be thankful.” ~William Wordsworth

During this month of Thanksgiving it is certainly appropriate to evaluate what you are thankful for. Now that might be a little challenging considering the wreckage of a pathological relationship, so be thankful this article has arrived in your inbox!

We would like to offer some reminders of the blessings of pathology.

Be thankful for your new filter.

What the psychopath has given you is the ability to spot. That is a gift. Many people don’t know what pathology looks like and, as a result, they move forward despite the patterns of behavior that are present. Once you move toward a psychopath, it’s like you’re a fly in a web… stuck. The ability to spot the spider and the web keeps you far, far away from danger. If you made it out, then knowing the power of pathology is a gift. You have a new filter to lay over your own perceptions and understanding of the world and this filter will ultimately keep you much safer.

Be thankful for the peek deep inside at ‘who’ you are.

We know that pathology is soul-stealing. It grinds you down to the bare bones of who you are and what you believe. It is a terrifying, maniacal, devastating process. There is no doubt that going through it is likely one of the worst experiences of your life. What is left when you leave is your foundation. There might even be a few cracks still there. But no doubt you are seeing things about yourself that you didn’t know existed or that you had forgotten about. As you look back on the moments of manipulation, you undoubtedly see what was done to your values, your worth, and your beliefs. But through this careful evaluation you can reaffirm where you stand and what you stand on.

Be thankful for understanding love in a whole new way.

Love is not fantasy. Love is not a task. Love is not excitement (it’s pretty boring). Love is not adrenaline or fear covered by excitement. Love is steady, unconditional, joyous and gentle.

Sometimes we learn lessons by not getting what we need, and pathology has done that for you. You now know what love is NOT. Your love is real and your capacity for love is real. In a sense, that was never the problem. Feeling love is never your problem… but being able to put a lid on your intense bonding so that you can trust what you felt about his lack of love is the problem.

Be thankful for your own humanness and your ability to bond and love other healthy people.

Your ability to connect and bond to him makes you human. You may be questioning, “How could I have let this happen?” Or blaming yourself for “falling in love with a psychopath.” Well, thank goodness that you love, thank goodness that you bond and thank goodness that you have empathy about it. You know what it means if you can’t do those things, so the alternative is much better. You CAN love and you CAN bond so that means you CAN do it again. Maybe not right now… but you CAN do it. Be thankful that, with some tweaks to your filter, there is hope for love again. You are NOT irreversibly damaged.

Be thankful for your Super Traits.

So, those things that psychopaths manipulate in you are your biggest assets. Do not get it twisted—your Super Traits saved you. Your excitement-seeking, compassion, trust, loyalty, resourcefulness, helpfulness, and sentimentality (among others) played a role in getting you out. Take a minute to think about how each one of these traits helped you. In the end, did your compassion for the kids take over? Did your resourcefulness help you find the facts or did your sentimentality remind you of who you were before? They will be the things that drive your recovery if you let them. You can strengthen them by combining the feelings of the Super Traits with what you know about pathology.

Be thankful you are safe and alive.

Pathology is dangerous. Your pain—emotional and physical—is real. But here you are. There is nothing better than the awareness of our aliveness. Feel the power of being present here, now. In any given moment, pathology can bring a sense of danger and fear. Certainly hypervigilance can set in, if you allow it. But the alternative is much more powerful. Embrace the moments of safety and security. Create an environment which strengthens your sense of safety. In that space, your aliveness will grow.

Being thankful for pathology is a stretch—a stretch toward healing. It is a necessary step in recovery. You may not be there yet and that is OK. Don’t rush yourself. However, take this opportunity to open the door to the idea. If you are there and can feel the thankfulness then take it in.

“I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live, I learn, I’ve been hurt but I’m alive.

I’m human, I’m not perfect but I’m thankful.” ~Unknown

Filed Under: Jennifer Young's Column

Research

Personality Traits of Women in Relationships with Cluster B/Psychopathic Males

Douglas B. Samuel, Department of Psychological Sciences, Purdue University

Sandra L. Brown, MA, and Jennifer Young, LMHC, The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction

Thank you so much for turning out in such big numbers to have your ‘Super Traits’ recognized! We ended up utilizing a whopping 600 women for the study! The findings have been tabulated and Purdue and The Institute are working on the write up of the findings right now.

The findings will be posted by The Institute and also submitted to professional journals on personality science for publication. We will keep you updated as the information becomes available.

If you are interested in participating in further research, assessments, surveys and other forms of study that The Institute may be involved in related to Pathological Love Relationships, stay tuned to our website and newsletter where research opportunities will be posted.

Stay in the Right Position: What I did over Christmas break

January 7, 2014 by Jennifer

By Jennifer Young, LMHC

This Christmas break I went skiing…sort of. It was a trip that required lots of planning. I live in Florida and snow skiing is not exactly something we do often. Prior to attempting this feat I decided to take a lesson at the local outdoor shop. Here in Florida, ski lessons happen on a carpeted conveyor belt that rises like a little hill. In fact, it is rated a blue slope…which is a middle of the road slope. It’s not a green, which is the bunny slope. So, I attempted to learn to ski on a pretty steep slope.

As I donned all the gear, which is a feat in itself, the instructor started with the basics. But something he said struck me. It was a warning, a prevention strategy. I am all about prevention of pain and this is what he said, “Stay in the right position to avoid pain.”

Wow. What a novel idea. Stay still, is the “right” position. Avoid pain. To ski and not be in pain, it’s all about your position; knees pointed this way – and bent, skis point that way – like a pizza slice, body upright, arms out front. Now, hold it. Oh yeah, and engage that core. This way, this position, is how you prevent the aftermath. Because if I was warned once, I was warned a thousand times about the pain I would feel the next day. I was almost more scared of that than I was the actual skiing. So, I held tight to that position. In fact, the lesson was really an instruction on how to hold the right position and self-correct when you fell out. I did pretty good in the lesson. I held on and self-corrected. I went down that carpet conveyor like a champ.
Then came real life. Ummm…real life. Not carpet. I made my way up in the gondola and stepped out onto the mountain. SNOW!!! Pretty amazing and slightly overwhelming. I stepped into my skis and assumed the position. Skis in the shape of a pizza, knees bent, body upright and hands out front. GO! Down I went — and down I fell. I had a few moments of skiing – twice. I did it. I held my position and I skied.

The day after I felt pretty good. I did not have any pain. There was some minor ache in my thighs but that always feels good – it lets you know you worked something! So there it was. Skiing for a Florida girl. I took one thing away from that day. I held myself in the right position and I was able to avoid the pain. I was taught the right position and I used it.

This lesson resonated with me because every day when I speak with women in recovery about pathology I know there is one position that needs to be held. I know that if you hold that position, you will avoid pain. The recovery position looks like this:

-Know who he is
-Disengage at every turn
-Manage your super traits
-Live a gentle life

It’s not an easy position and it sure as hell is not always comfortable. It’s a foreign experience for most – like skiing for a Florida girl. But bravery is crucial, desire (to be done) is required and focus is the foundation.

But, what helps the most is taking the lessons that you have been taught and using them. You have to work at each moment to hold your position. If you do, then your pain will decrease. Your thighs will ache, but that’s your sign that you’ve done your work.

Filed Under: Jennifer Young's Column

The Challenge of Being Thankful

November 26, 2013 by Jennifer

“Rest and Be Thankful.” –William Wordsworth

During this month of Thanksgiving it is certainly appropriate to evaluate what you are thankful for. Now, that might be a little challenging considering the wreckage of a pathological relationship so be thankful that this article has arrived in your inbox. We would like to offer some reminders of the blessings of pathology.

Be thankful for your new filter

What the psychopath has given you is the ability to spot. That is a gift. Many people don’t know what pathology looks like and, as a result, move forward in spite of the patterns of behavior that are present. Once you move toward a psychopath it’s like you’re a fly in a web…stuck. The ability to spot the spider and the web keeps you far, far away from danger. If you made it out, then knowing the power of pathology is a gift. You have a new filter to lay over your own perceptions and understanding of the world and this filter will ultimately keep you much safer.

Be thankful for the peek deep into who you are

We know that pathology is soul stealing. It grinds you down to the bare bones of who you are and what you believe. It is a terrifying, maniacal, devastating process. There is no doubt that going through it is likely one of the worst experiences of your life. What is left when you leave is your foundation. There might even be a few cracks there. But no doubt you are seeing things about yourself that you didn’t know existed or that you had forgotten about. As you look back on the moments of manipulation, you undoubtedly see what was done to your values, your worth, and your beliefs. But through this careful evaluation you can reaffirm where you stand and what you stand on.

Be thankful for understanding love in a whole new way

Love is not fantasy. Love is not a task. Love is not excitement (it’s pretty boring). Love is not adrenaline or fear covered by excitement. Love is steady, unconditional, joyous and gentle. Sometimes we learn lessons by not getting what we need and pathology has done that for you. You now know what love is NOT. Your love is real and your capacity for love is real. In a sense, that was never the problem. Feeling love is never your problem…but being able to put a lid on your intense bonding so that you can trust what you felt about his lack of love is the problem.

Be thankful for your own humanness and your ability to bond and love other healthy people.
Your ability to connect and bond to him makes you human. You may be questioning “how could I let this happen?” or blaming yourself for “falling in love with a psychopath”. Well, thank goodness that you love, thank goodness that you bond and thank goodness that you have empathy about it. You know what it means if you can’t do those things so the alternative is much better. You CAN love and you CAN bond so that means you can do it again. Maybe not right now…but you CAN do it. Be thankful that with some tweaks to your filter, there is hope for love again.

Be thankful for your super traits

So, those things that psychopaths manipulate are your biggest asset. Do not get it twisted. Your super traits saved you. Your excitement-seeking, compassion, trust, loyalty, resourcefulness, helpfulness, and sentimentality, among others, played a role in getting you out. Take a minute to think about how each one of these traits helped you. In the end, did your compassion for the kids take over? Did your resourcefulness help you find the facts or did your sentimentality remind you of who you were before? They will be the thing that drives your recovery if you let them. You can strengthen them by combining the feelings of the super traits with what you know about pathology.

Be thankful you are safe and alive

Pathology is dangerous. Your pain, emotional or physical, is real. But here you are. There is nothing better than the awareness of our aliveness. Feel the power of being present – here – now. In any given moment pathology can bring a sense of danger and fear. Certainly hyper-vigilance can set in, if you allow it. But the alternative is much more powerful. Embrace the moments of safety and security. Create an environment that strengthens your sense of safety. In that space, your aliveness will grow.

Being thankful for pathology is a stretch – a stretch toward healing. It is a necessary step in recovery. You may not be there yet and that is OK. Don’t rush yourself. However, take this opportunity to open the door to the idea. If you are there and can feel the thankfulness then take it in.

“I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live, I learn, I’ve been hurt but I’m alive.
I’m human, I’m not perfect but I’m thankful.” –Unknown

Filed Under: Jennifer Young's Column

Mental Health Professionals Advanced Education Training

Treating the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships

** Coming soon as an online training in a 4 part series.

The Institute’s Model of Care Approach for Pathological Love Relationships with Cluster B Disordered Partners

The Institute will be offering licensed mental health/addiction professionals as well as Domestic Violence Staff the ability to become trained and certified in The Institute’s Model of Care for Pathological Love Relationship Survivors.

Segments include The Institute’s Grounding Theory of Pathological Relationships based on our new upcoming book related to the principles of The Institute’s Puzzle Pieces of Pathological Love Relationships ©. The concept is built on a foundation of 4 puzzle pieces that describe the elements and results of a pathological love relationship.

Puzzle Piece #1: A Partner with a Cluster B / Psychopathic Personality Disorder – The basics of pathology

The Permanence of pathology and its relationship to Cluster Bs
Etiology of pathology
Neuroscience of Cluster B disorders

Puzzle Piece #2: Dramatic and Erratic Relationship Dynamics – Pathological love relationship dynamics

His multi-partnered relational process
Dichotomous dynamics and the Jekyll & Hyde phenomenon
The use of suggestibility, trance, and hypnotic inductions in relationships
Attraction, bonding & intensity
Historical relational patterns of selection

Puzzle Piece #3: A Partner with ‘Super Traits’ – The impacts of personality

How personality impacts relational dynamics
How personality impacts attachment, bonding, and disengagement
The Institute & Purdue University’s research findings on Super Traits and Pathological Love Relationships
Trait elevations & risk
Original trauma and impact to self-perceptual injuries
Super Traits and their effect on relationship selection & relational targeting

Puzzle Piece #4: Extreme Aftermath Symptoms – Therapeutic interventions & psychotherapy processes

PTSD
Treatment issues related to PTSD
Patient self care and PTSD approaches
Super Traits & treatment impact
Cognitive dissonance and its connection to pathological love relationships
Specific patient approaches/Model of Care treatment for crisis, short term, and long term treatment

To get more information about the online training

If you are interested in taking the online course when it is released and wish to be added to our waiting list, please email Training for Professionals via the Contact Us form in the right hand sidebar. Course information, dates, prices, how to enroll, etc. will be posted on the website when it becomes available and those on the waiting list will be informed that the course is open and detailed information has been published.

To get more information about private training for your organization

If you would like to request private training for your organization, email us through the Contact Us form using the Organizational training option. Specify that you are interested in private training for your organization, your desired time frame, and complete contact information including your name, the organization’s name, and a phone number where we can reach you.

To get more information about the development of a professional Association

The interest in both providing services and acquiring education has been growing in a new and emerging genre of counseling and training on the dynamics of Narcissistic & Psychopathic Victim Syndrome. To learn more about the professional Association which is currently in the preliminary development phase…

Retreat Schedule, Descriptions and How to Apply

Retreats are held at The Institute’s Retreat Center in the mountains near Brevard, NC. Dates for upcoming groups, retreats and intensives are posted here as they are scheduled.

(Not all retreats are offered every year and the only retreats that are offered are listed in the schedule below.)

2017 RETREAT SCHEDULE

Name of Retreat	Dates	Applications Close
Healing the Aftermath	October 24 – 29	August 24

RETREAT DESCRIPTIONS

The Institute’s flagship retreat is Healing the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships (HAM) which has been operational since 2006. This core retreat teaches the basics of personality disorders, psychopathy, relational dynamics, super traits, and recovery approaches. The same material is included in our 1:1 Intensives but is covered privately and individually with Sandra.

The HAM is our primary support approach. All other retreats, when offered, build off the material laid out in the HAM and 1:1s, therefore, you need to have attended the HAM, a 1:1, completed the total Living Recovery Program’s on-line course, or completely finished tele-counseling/coaching with Jennifer Young, L.M.H.C. in order to attend and benefit from additional retreats. (No other retreats are offered at this time)

Retreats are 6 days, 5 nights and are held at The Institute’s Retreat Center near Brevard, NC.

Healing the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships (PLR)

(This retreat is a pre-requisite for other retreats when they are offered.)

This is our signature retreat for which we are so well known and is for those who have left their relationship, are seeking to understand pathology, and to have connection with others who have also experienced a pathological relationship.

The focus of the retreat includes understanding pathology and its’ permanence, your Super Traits, pathological love relationship dynamics, managing intrusive thoughts and cognitive dissonance, and symptom management.

Package price for Healing the Aftermath is $750.

Retreat package includes:

Airport pickup and drop off from Asheville, NC airport (AVL)
Lodging (shared accommodations with fully furnished kitchen facilities)
Approximately 5 hours of group coaching per day
Evening outdoor fire (weather permitting) and “processing” time
Transportation other than airport pickup/drop off and food are not included

Automated Retreat Application Process

Our automated retreat application process is administered through Ruzuku, an on-line class platform, with required form submissions presented in Google Docs. This process guides you through the necessary steps, free of charge, in a structured manner and in accordance with specific timelines that facilitate planning and arrangements for clients and our staff.

The first step in the retreat application process is to complete the Pre-Screening module which will provide you with details about:

The retreat and its goals
How the retreat is structured
Retreat admission criteria
Rules for group sessions
Who may not be a correct fit for the retreat
Travel logistics
Mandatory timelines and steps in the application process

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When Friends Don’t ‘Get It’ About Him

January 31, 2011 by dl

Remember the line ‘You’re known by the company you keep’? Well, I don’t think that ONLY includes the pathological and dangerous man…it also includes your ‘friends’ and ‘family’ members who are emotional accomplices of his.

Someone wrote me this week and said “Please write about this–when your own friends don’t get how sick he is and think you should go back or they think you’re over exaggerating his faults.”

There’s a couple of things to consider here…first of all, your patterns of selection of dangerous, pathological, or not quite healthy people probably exceed just your intimate relationship selections–it might include your friends, cohorts, buddies, and even bosses. Women who enter recovery for pathological relationships and attend the retreats quickly figure out that their lives are LOADED with other pathological people! Not just him! That’s because those super traits in you I write about are just as active in ALL your relationships as they are in your intimate ones. So don’t be surprised to find these types of people hidden out in all corners of your life. Many women realize they got some house cleaning to do in terms of clearing out all the unhealthy people from their lives once they recognize what pathology is and WHO it’s in…

Secondly, the dangerous and pathological people often attract people to them. If your friends and family members have your emotional characteristics, they are likely to STILL see him how you USE to see him…they haven’t been hurt up close and personal by him to ‘get it’ the way you do. Since these are Jekyll and Hyde guys, they have one face for you and another adorable and charming one for everyone else, including friends and family. Women get confused when they gauge whether they should be with him based on what OTHERS say about him. Intimate relationships are just that—PRIVATE and others don’t see him behind closed doors the way you do/did. Their take on this charming charismatic guy doesn’t include everything your gut has told you about him…

When you are ending the relationship, he’s likely to pour it on to all your family and friends—the tears, the confusion and shoulder shrugging (“What did I do?”) and pleading (“Help me get her back!”). Those family and friends who have those same HIGH traits of empathy, tolerance, and compassion are likely to fall for it. Top it off, that almost all the pathologicals also proclaim to be ‘sick or dying’ when the relationship is ending and you have a cheering squad who has lined up to back up his sad and pleading stories.

Then there’s the ‘finding religion’ guys who go to your pastor/rabbi and blow the dust off their Bible and are sitting in the front row of church week after week telling your pastor how ‘unforgiving’ you are of him.

Yup. Your friends are likely to point to all that pew-sitting and think there’s something to it. But YOU know better…you’ve seen it all before. The core of pathology is they aren’t wired to sustain positive change so this too shall pass…

Getting confused about what ‘other’ people think of him goes back to the central issue of you having ignored your red flags when you met him. Don’t ignore them again when people who haven’t got a clue what true pathology is tells you that you should ‘give it one more shot.’ You know what you know. Tell yourself the truth. Then turn to them…and tell them too. It’s called psychopathy education–teach what you know!

(**Information about pathological love relationships is in our award winning book Women Who Love Psychopaths and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more info.)

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

Testimonials

Read what our clients and customers have to say about our information and products:

In General…

Your work on pathological love relationships is the most thorough and helpful I have ever found. It has also provided a missing piece for me in my work with women. I have an internet radio show that airs weekly on Hay House Radio and I would love to have you as a guest on the show. Your information needs to be mainstream. And as you know so well, the mental health professions really don’t deal with the topic of personality disorders very well, if at all. And therefore, those of us with super traits are stuck thinking that we are the problem. Not just in love relationships, but also, of course, in the doctor/patient relationship.
– Christiane Northrup, MD
(New York Times best-selling author)

Our Articles…

I continue to be impressed by the brilliant articles and I am often very moved and sometimes emotionally disturbed when I read the articles that are so articulate and so “right on” regarding psychopaths. I often print them so that I can keep them for future reference.

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I love Sandra’s articles! And I especially related to the article by Jennifer Young on Trait Examination. It was as if she was describing me!!!!

Thank you! I feel that finally I know there are people out there (you) that get it, that understand what it is like to have had a psychopath cross their path. – HS

Our Newsletter…

Every time I read and re-read one of your newsletters, I am so thankful that I found you and this site. It has been valuable beyond what I can express, and I am very grateful for your research and your honest and competent advice. I am doing so much better with the insights I have gained into psychopaths as well as my own history, behavior and pre-disposition to tolerate the intolerable. I find myself more and more at peace, and I am beginning to enjoy being a single and unattached lady. I feel that I am better equipped to make positive choices in my life, and in no small way, I have you to thank for that! – PH

The Living Recovery Program

The Living Recovery Program course is worth its weight in gold! It is not a review/rehash of the story details from a bad relationship and breakup, but, instead, a clear and well laid out explanation of how and why women get into these pathological relationships, why leaving them is so difficult, and the damage that is caused by them and that continues beyond the end of the relationship. As if all of that were not enough, the course also provides practical, doable steps for reclaiming your life, unraveling the aftermath and, ultimately, healing.

I highly recommend this course to survivors, Law Enforcement, anyone in Family Law/Family Court venue, mental health counselors, Child Protective Service and social workers, and anyone who works with victims of Domestic Violence.

Thank you, Sandra Brown, The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and your staff, for the creation of this beautiful course with the ultimate goal being recovery. – MB, survivor/thriver

Our Telephone Coaching Services and Other Products…

It was 2 years ago, that I decided “enough is enough”, actually when my eyes were opened to the dynamics of DV.

Your materials, (Women Who Love Psychopaths and How to Break Up, and others), including phone coaching and support group sessions, kept me on the path of healing and understanding what was happening in our family and my involvement. The mind control I endured was tremendous and I was only able to pick it apart layer after layer. My insight grew, my FOG (Fear-Obligation-Guilt) subsided slowly and my children gained and healed with me, as I grew stronger in the truth and reality of my past relationship of many years.

There was a time when it was your regular newsletters hitting my inbox that were my lifeline and gave me the encouragement I needed and guidance in what to do next. The “no-contact-rule” was what at times took everything out of me. To hang on to that and deliberately stick by that rule was my prevail. I gave getting out of this relationship all I could, besides working, keeping my kids in their normal activities in school and sports and being their Mom, keeping them safe and protected. Even though he is still lurking around and other people leave messages for him on our phone since he gives them our number for his messages, the “no contact rule” still applies. I guess it will take a while for him to figure these messages will never reach him…

But it all paid off.

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I am writing to let you know of my deep gratitude for your hard work and perseverance for our cause of educating people and hopefully saving lives, not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. I know it is an exhausting and painful path, but your passion is contagious. At least it helps me to not just be a survivor but passes on the desire to help, educate and live a victorious life for others to follow. There will always be the ones that like victimhood and learn to cope with dependency and abuse in their own sick way of life. But this world is richer by several people that were saved and matured through your efforts. We are a happier family, we are close and each one of us active in their own way of making a difference in society for public awareness and healthy living.

Once again, THANK YOU soooo much for ALL you and your Institute is doing and stands for. It saved our lives…:)

Our Products…

Your books and articles have been at the core of my recovery. I share your site with anyone who seems to be in an abusive relationship. I belonged to a forum about infidelity and it was helpful, but I saw that what I was dealing with was “different”. Now I can help others who may be dealing with this by telling them about you. I am so grateful for your work. – NL

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Finally able to buy a book of Sandra L. Brown, M.A.’s and devouring her articles and those of others on this topic, I am finally getting better. Thank you so much for being there. I am finally coming out of the Twilight Zone of Hell. – BR

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I would also like to personally thank you for your work. Both your e-book on dangerous women and book on dangerous men show a deep psychological insight with the ability to create a clearly defined, well established frame for the wealth of indispensable information you have been providing. You have helped me enormously both in my partner selection and the desire to achieve a deeper understanding in human development and relationship. I sincerely wish you all the success you can have in your field of work, since yours is an especially important, essential practice for many, while being immaculately scientific. It was not easy for me to obtain your book on dangerous men and I hope that it will never go out of publication, and there will be more copies available for people to have a better education in these life-defining skills. – MV

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My life was a mess during the aftermath of my marriage to a psychopath, short-lived though it was. I was seeing a shrink when I stumbled upon your book. Neither the shrink nor I knew we were dealing with a psychopath but the book is what saved me. Thanks for that!

Our Award-Winning Book, Women Who Love Psychopaths…

This Book Saved My Sanity. I am an educated professional woman who owns my own business. I have had a successful career and social life. Until I got involved with a psychopath. What seemed like the perfect man, in reality, turned out to be a monster. He could be incredibly cruel one minute, and then loving the next. My whole world was turned upside down as this man would pull me in one direction and then another. I was a confused mess. When I read this book, I realized what I was dealing with. I realized that no amount of “therapy” would ever help our relationship and that a psychopath cannot change who he is. This book pulled me back from the brink of disaster and I highly recommend it to anyone involved in a toxic relationship. These people are truly dangerous, and they can be lurking under the radar almost anywhere. – K, from an Amazon review

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I am so grateful to the friend who told me about your book, Women Who Love Psychopaths. And I am so very grateful to you for the extensive study and perseverance in bringing this information to those who have stumbled into destructive relationships through no fault of our own. I am pleasantly surprised that both of your books have worked “like magic.” First the awareness that I was not losing my mind, but that it had only been temporarily “hijacked” and that someone not only understood what had happened to me, but could it explain it scientifically. – SL

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After a break-up, I was left emotionally shattered. I could not understand why I wasn’t getting better, why I had constant intrusive thoughts, why I could not put this particular relationship behind me. While trying to make sense of a senseless situation, I was introduced to the work of Sandra L. Brown, MA. It was as if a light had finally been turned on in a dark room. Your book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, explained everything. I had an explanation for so many behaviors, quirks and red flags that I overlooked, ignored and reframed. My endless stream of thoughts could be channeled, understood and finally quieted. Thank you, Sandra, for your life changing work. – AS

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I purchased Women Who Love Psychopaths at a time when I believed I would lose my mind while in and after a very dysfunctional, chaotic relationship. I asked myself “why?” probably a million times and felt so stuck and so afraid. I entered therapy and read everything I could get my hands on to get the answers I needed as I thought I was going to lose my mind. It is no exaggeration when I write that this book saved my life – emotionally, spiritually and physically as I indeed was becoming ill. This book was the catalyst to recovery. If you want the answers as to what makes him/her tick, why he/she functions the way they do, why you are in such a relationship and what makes YOU tick, you must have this book. It will become your Bible to strength and recovery. You will read it over and over again. It is the only book that resonates with what you are really experiencing. Be prepared for a shocking and an emotional read… – S, from an Amazon review

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As a victim healing from a brief but emotionally and financially devastating marriage with a psychopath / sociopath, I’ve read and re-read Women Who Love Psychopaths for deeper understanding and clarity. You will never find a better overall resource in your journey. – D, from an Amazon review

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Women Who Love Psychopaths, along with the Lundy Bancroft book (“Why Does He Do That…”), are the two books I recommend most to my students when they come to me with woes about a psychopath in their lives. Sandra L. Brown, M.A. has done something that others have not and that is to administer questionnaires to collect data on the traits of those often “targeted” by psychopaths and identify their super-traits. If a psychopath has recently invaded your world and you are not familiar with Cluster B traits, then this book will give you a course on it — but it goes further in letting you know what attracts them to you so you can know what to watch for in the future. That is not to say that the author is critical of the target, because she is not; as a matter-of-fact, some of the super-traits are what we often label as most desirable ones to have in our society. This book will leave you feeling enlightened. – C, from an Amazon review

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I wrote a short review for amazon.com…and it was brief BECAUSE the entire book is compiled with data, explanation, reason, and connectivity. There is no fluff within the covers. I would like to repeatedly post links to the book on facebook.

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The reasons we find ourselves captivated by these “alien essences” can be brought to light and you do this with clarity and an empathic comprehension – especially within the awareness of women because it is embarrassing being caught in the lure of sexuality. We are intelligent…and capable…and yet, we succumbed to some fairy tale -you explain the release of hormones and the
staging by the psychopath, even the differentiation in his use of language. We who have been taught that communication is the tool for problem solving find ourselves in the Twilight Zone. In so many fields and places in our lives, we have no answers and even negatively critical judgments about “our behavior.” We are being held to incompatible standards. There exist so many
conflicts with belief systems, ideologies, and spiritual and religious principles where compassion is revered. It seems that we victims have been “hoisted on our own petards.”

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Your book, Ms. Brown, covers everything I questioned….and it is an affirmation that “something wicked this way comes.” I don’t mean to sound so melodramatic that my email is discounted. The AHA-moments were almost at every page, and most assuredly in every chapter. There is – if one enjoys science fiction – a correlation with the short-lived TV show, “Threshold.”
Awareness takes time.

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I know many on blogs are nutters in their own right, mostly because they have not found the data to help themselves. So many therapists have simply not understood and the “pie-in-the-sky” New Thought folks have not come in contact with this form of “alien” presence. It’s not that it is evil (maybe – ?), but the two philosophies for life – those in healthy (just the ups and downs of routine dysfunctions, perhaps) states and those suffering psychopathy are simply incompatible. Your phrase, “relationships of
inevitable harm” will forever ring true to me.

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Here is the BIG QUESTION – and one ripe for a new book….because the numbers of psychopaths appear to be rising, how are we to live with these beings? I understand the no contact rule and it is VITAL…but in the long run with the thought that these people cannot be treated, for humanity, what are we to do?

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I diverged from the reason you have this email listed. Every chapter in your book has dog-eared corners in my home. I carry it with me to the restroom, I return it to the coffee table…and I USE it for reference.

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As always in this life, the lessons are much more about myself. AND your treatment of survivors is kind, observant, and chock full of evaluational data. I am floored and delighted that there are explanations for super traits rather than that we have “failed” to be bright enough, wise enough, or even aware enough. I gleaned that my traits might just be valuable. Somewhere the patriarchal (and yet, I have learned that men can also be victims) guidelines have become overly and overtly zealous. I don’t believe it
is as simplistic as relationships with authority that comes into question, although, our deep seated thoughts on “happily ever after” probably filters many of our personal scope of evaluations.

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I am never quite as trusting as once I was…and because I have daughters and grandsons, I am alert to those in our realm and my own reactions to them. I’m not paranoid, but neither do I let a brief intuitive feeling flow past without a moment of appraisal.

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I wrote this (below) – and share it….so much is falling into place for me (and MANY others) because of Women Who Love Psychopaths, in particular. I have read your other works, but this one is of monumental importance! There must be a more moving way to say this. It struck a chord of complete connection and affirmation within my very being and soul. There is REASON for the chaos into which I fell. And all with the best of intentions. It is not concisely ONE AHA-moment, but everything in your book. The explanations cover daily life with a psychopath…the lure, the treatment, the forever changing terrain and MOST importantly, the way we who fall prey respond. For me, this book relates to my daily heartaches, fears, anguish, and quest for my ideal. Not just of the relationship, but of the “me” I knew before this fear-fest of an encounter. The absolute torture was in the faltering grasp of my own humanity. AND to have AGREEMENT is CRUCIAL for survival…not just mouthed upsets and emotions, but to comprehend the whys. Interestingly, as I look over this email, I see the feelings expressed. Our society seems to be based on these very emotions and the need to join and establish rapport. Transferring our thoughts and feelings onto this “other” who is called a psychopath reminds me of Michael Crichton’s book, Sphere. ” What if the contact with an alien or artifact has no frame of reference for us as human beings” is the gist of the novel. It appears to have come to life today.

Our Advanced Education for Therapist In-Person Training…

I was truly moved by your recent workshop. I pride myself in having gained a lot of insight having worked with offenders over the last year, but your talks and knowledge helped me to see how much more there is to understand in working with women who love psychopaths. Having purchased your book, I haven’t been able to put it down. It inspires me to want to understand more of the women and the men who are involved in domestic violence. I am doing my dissertation on the topic. – V

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I attended the training that you presented for the Army in San Antonio last week. I am so grateful that you were one of the presenters for us. I am a drug and alcohol counselor for the Army and licensed in both mental health and substance abuse counseling at the Master’s level. Thanks for the work you do. Your resources on your website will definitely be part of my professional use.

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Sandra has been seen or heard on:

Television and Video

“Doc Zone” by The Canadian Broadcast Corporation (CBC) with Dr. Robert Hare and Dr Stephen Porter (re-aired through The National Geographic Channel in the U.S.)

Interviews by Michael Cross, UCY-TV’s “Unlock the Door”, featuring Sandra L. Brown

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Podcasts

Radio

NEW – A Fine Time for Healing with Randi Fine

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Civil Radio Budapest with Zsuzsa Feher, interviews on Women Who Love Psychopaths

Times Up! Radio Shows with Susan Murphy Milano

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Print

Other print articles (which are not available online):

Books in Foreign Languages

Personality Traits of Women in Relationships with Cluster B/Psychopathic Males

Douglas B. Samuel, Department of Psychological Sciences, Purdue University

Sandra L. Brown, MA, and Jennifer Young, LMHC, The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction

Treating the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships

The Institute’s Model of Care Approach for Pathological Love Relationships with Cluster B Disordered Partners

2017 RETREAT SCHEDULE

RETREAT DESCRIPTIONS

Healing the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships (PLR)

Automated Retreat Application Process

In General…

Our Articles…

Our Newsletter…

The Living Recovery Program

Our Telephone Coaching Services and Other Products…

Our Products…

Our Award-Winning Book, Women Who Love Psychopaths…

Our Advanced Education for Therapist In-Person Training…

New Video Series from Sandra! How to Find a Therapist

ATTENTION, THERAPISTS! Tap the image for the New field: The Clinician’s Guide to the New Field of Traumatic Pathological Love Relationships

RECORDED TRAINING: Sandra shows clinicians how to overcome some of the biggest pitfalls preventing them from identifying narcissistic and psychopathic abuse in their clients. Click image to watch.

Check out these interviews (below) with Sandra L. Brown, M.A. about pathological relationships, the personality traits that are targeted, and the role of Cognitive Dissonance in the intensification of aftermath symptoms

What are Super Traits? What is Cognitive Dissonance? An interview with Sandra L. Brown

Do You Attract Toxic People? Here’s what to do about it! An interview with Sandra L. Brown

Sandra Brown was interviewed for and appears in the documentary, The Psychopath Next Door

Free E-Book: Early Recovery Guide – What Every Survivor Should Know to Heal and Prevent Retraumatization

Free E-Book: Mid-Recovery Guide – What Every Survivor Should Know to Build an Effective Recovery

Super Traits of Personality Audio Series: Why You Might Not be Codependent After All

WWLP3 E-book

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