by a Survivor who learned the hard way
At some point in a relationship with a pathological, a person stops and asks themselves a very basic question: “Does the person I love have a criminal record?” The question may arise as doubt about their character comes to light.
Many people then turn to online court record systems to try and answer this question. They type in the person’s name and click search. When the search brings no results, they breathe a sigh of relief. “It must be me,” they think, “I am worrying over nothing.”
The fact that the search results came back empty does not mean the person did not commit any crimes.
As convenient as it would be to type in a person’s name and retrieve a “Santa’s List” of every crime they ever committed, with the date it was committed and the location where the crime was committed, the free online systems just don’t work that way.
There are many reasons the online criminal court records can present an incomplete picture of their history. They include, but are not limited to:
- The person committed a crime under an alias, or a different derivation or spelling of their name, e.g. Mike vs. Michael, Jack vs. John, Pat vs. Patricia.
- The records exist under another jurisdiction than the one you are looking at – e.g. city vs. town vs. county, county sheriff vs. state police, federal agency (FBI, DEA, IRS), military, or tribal court. To further complicate matters, sometimes charges start out with one agency and are transferred to another.
- The jurisdiction in which you are searching does not participate in an online records system or may have stopped participating at some point.
- The record system you are searching is incomplete because original paper records were destroyed (fire, flood, mold), or due to budgetary constraints, all records were not computerized.
- Local politics regarding open records laws.
- The person was charged as a juvenile and the records were sealed when they turned 18 or the court record was sealed for other reasons.
- Failure to Prosecute – The person is wealthy, their parents are wealthy, or well-connected, and charges were dropped.
- The victim, police, or the District Attorney’s office chose not to press charges.
- Someone (defense or prosecution) missed a filing deadline.
- Plea Bargains – A deal was cut in place of sentencing, e.g. the defendant chose to join a branch of the military.
- Concern over people (and employers) jumping to the wrong conclusion over online court records has led some states to add disclaimers or even limit or remove records from their online records systems.
Any or all of these, among other things, can lead to an incomplete picture of someone’s background. The results may only represent partial information taken out of its original context, and that can be a dangerous thing.
And that’s just the criminal court part of the picture. Other parts that bear on someone’s character may include:
- Family court records – failure to pay spousal or child support
- Marriage records – often not available online
- Civil records – mortgage foreclosures, small claims verdicts for debts, car repossessions, maliciously and repeatedly suing others, etc.
The bottom line is that the average online court records available to the public may not give you a complete picture of a person’s past. The person is the only one with that. As a pathological, they will most likely lie about their past, editing out events that make them look bad, or provide you with excuses that seem plausible.
If you can’t get a complete and accurate picture of their past, but you suspect something may be wrong, what can you do? Change the questions you ask yourself. Rather than asking, “Do they have a criminal record in the past?” ask, “Do they demonstrate any of the “red flags” in the present?” and “Should I get out of this relationship?”
You can find a basic list of red flag warnings in Sandra’s book “How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved”. And her book, “Women Who Love Psychopaths” will help you learn about your own traits and behaviors and how they play into your being targeted and getting involved with a dangerous man.
(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about Pathological Love Relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more information.)
