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PTSD as Trauma Disorder—Not Psychiatric Illness

April 21, 2015 by

This week we talk about how women can level the playing field in court with a pathological. This could be related to a divorce, separation, restraining order, or child custody. If you have PTSD, the courts are mandated to offer you special accommodations while in court to protect you, and to help your level of functioning due to the PTSD.

In order to do that, you must legitimately have PTSD, be diagnosed and have an Accommodations Report prepared by a professional that is presented to your state’s ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) Coordinator’s Office. From there, special accommodations are granted. The range and what the accommodations are, are listed in the column, “Helping Women Find Effective Strategies for Court.”

First of all, PTSD is a trauma disorder. If you are given the diagnosis, it already implies you have been traumatized. You are going to court regarding your traumatized relationship, so it fits and supports your argument in court, as well as the symptoms that have arisen because of this relationship. If he produced trauma, this needs to be said. If we want the court to understand pathology, we need to teach through our own experiences and relationships if we want the court system to change.

Second, PTSD does not necessarily have the type of stigma you may fear. Our vets that come home from war more often than not have PTSD. Fighting for our country is honorable—they were doing a good thing, and yet were damaged from their experience. The same is true for you.

One of our previous presidential candidates has PTSD. Firefighters and law enforcement that bravely saved many on 9/11 have PTSD. Missionaries helping the poor in other countries have PTSD. Social workers working in dangerous situations have PTSD.

I have PTSD. I have lived over 25 years with it. I openly discuss having the disorder—through no fault of my own. I acquired PTSD from seeing my father’s murder scene. I have worked with others that have had PTSD now for 20+ years. And because I am a survivor, I live with the effects of chronic PTSD daily. I know how it has changed me and my life, my abilities, my health, and my endurance. I have seen in hundreds of others how it has affected their lives—sometimes long-term.

If you have it, say it. Nothing starts healing until we acknowledge it. It is what it is.  Some worry that they will be labeled with mental illness if the court acknowledges their PTSD. Well, let’s think about that… do you think a pathological is going to go into court and NOT say you are crazy? You don’t think he will argue every point of your illness, behavior, or symptoms (whether they are true or not) in order to win? You don’t think he’s GOING to use some kind of emotional disorder argument? OF COURSE HE IS—that’s what pathologicals DO!! So, in order to prevent being labeled something far worse than PTSD, if you have PTSD, let IT be the label instead of something else that can greatly impair your ability to get rehabilitative alimony, custody of your children, etc.

Having a PTSD diagnosis before court can greatly help HOW FAR the pathological can go in trying to make you look mentally ill. PTSD is NOT a mental illness. Having a PTSD diagnosis may help prevent them from labeling you mentally ill with other more debilitating types of mental illness.

So don’t shun the PTSD diagnosis if you have it. It may prevent you from being labeled something far worse.

 

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know.  The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions.  See the website for more information.)

 © www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

Neurofeedback Training and PTSD – Part 2

March 17, 2015 by

By Joan-Marie Lartin, PhD, RN

Last week we looked at neurofeedback training as a method to calm the brain and reduce a wide-ranging variety of symptoms associated with PTSD. A person with PTSD has the unfortunate challenge of living with constant hormonal and neurotransmitter disruption. Why is this the case, even when the trauma is in the past? We know from Sandra’s work and that of others in the field of personality disorders, that the trauma does not necessarily stop once the relationship is over.

There are many legitimate sources of ongoing re-traumatization for the person formally involved with a disordered individual. For example, legal matters, shared custody of children, the process of rebuilding a life, all contain unique triggers.

But how can we understand the extent to which the person’s body continues to be in overdrive, even when these triggers are reduced? One answer lies in an understanding of what happens physically to a person under constant stress and/or trauma.

The cell membranes in various parts of the nervous system become literally worn out over time and unresponsive, which means the normal shut-off process in those experiencing constant stress is not working. Thus, we have a biochemical and nervous system on overload, spinning down into further and further dis-regulation in the absence of effective interventions.

This is one reason why we see neurotransmitter and cortisol imbalances, and imbalances in brain functioning in PTSD. The brainwaves of persons with PTSD are often characterized by a great deal of activity in the zones related to anxiety, intense emotions, overthinking (obsessing) and hypervigilance. There is usually reduced activity, and therefore reduced functioning, in areas associated with memory, focus, analytic capability, and the ability to relax. The regions associated with sleep are usually disrupted, as is the ability to ‘be in the body.’ The implications for ongoing emotional, physical and interpersonal problems are clear.

Neurofeedback training, which takes about 30-40 minutes per session, can help the nervous system to get back into balance. Most clients find some relief after 2-3 sessions, and may do as many as 30 or 40 sessions over the course of a year. Many find that about 20 sessions makes a big difference in their ability to get on with their lives. The cost varies from region to region, as does the availability of insurance coverage.

This site will help you find a practitioner, using your geographic location: http://directory.eeginfo.com.

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know.  The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions.  See the website for more information.)

 © www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

Filed Under: Guest Column

Neurofeedback Training and PTSD – Part 1

March 10, 2015 by

joanmarielartin

By Joan-Marie Lartin, PhD, RN

 

This week we take a look at the biochemical impact of PTSD and sustained stress. Neurotransmitters and cortisol are two interrelated responses to the threat of—or actual—physical and emotional harm. When a person lives under constant stress (of a pathological love relationship, for instance), his or her biochemistry almost always becomes unbalanced, leading to a host of emotional and physical symptoms. This stress response often takes on a life of its own and in doing so creates further problems such as cortisol and/or serotonin depletion. Neurologically, the same kind of thing happens in the nervous system and the brain’s frequencies get stuck in the ‘red alert mode.’

The nervous system, composed of bundles of brain cells, is an amazing communications system more complex than just about any system known. Brain cells communicate with lightning speed using neurotransmitters and electrical signals. Particular groupings of signals or frequencies are more active under certain conditions such as sleep, relaxation, or being on red alert.

Neurofeedback training, based on the early success of fingertip-based biofeedback, uses a number of aspects about the brain’s ability to self-correct, or retrain, under specific circumstances: The person/client doing the training has sensors placed on the head and ears to pick up information from the scalp-brainwaves. A computer program is designed to both read and interpret these signals and to determine to what degree things are out of balance.

Meanwhile, the computer’s music file is opened and a recorded piece of music or a CD is played. The music is stopped by the computer program when it detects a pattern that is essentially out of balance. This interruption is perceived by the brain as a signal to interrupt what it was doing—in the case of PTSD, being on red alert.

When the brain is given this information many times for many weeks, it gradually stops the pattern of overreacting to things that are not particularly threatening. For example, many partners of disordered persons have an overly sensitive startle reflex. A relatively harmless situation can trigger an extreme reaction, especially if the person is used to walking on eggshells with a disordered partner.

Neurofeedback training—a proven noninvasive method—helps the client regain the ability to relax, which can:

  • reduce hypertension
  • reduce dependency on chemical self-soothing patterns (medications, drugs)
  • reduce dependency on behavioral self-soothing patterns (overeating, overspending)
  • promote healthy sleep patterns
  • promote constructive problem-solving as the brain is less controlled by anxiety and fear

There are many, many benefits to neurofeedback training. Next week’s column will provide a more thorough description of the process and the results.

In the meantime, here are a couple of links to sites that will provide further information:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ-wX7kLBr4

 

www.aboutneurofeedback.com/conditions/ptsd/

For more information about Joan-Marie, visit www.joanmarielartin.com/

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know.  The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more information.)

 

© www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

 

Filed Under: Guest Column

PTSD As Trauma Disorder Not Psychiatric Illness

June 21, 2011 by

Last week we began talking about ‘how’ women can level the playing field in court with a pathological. This could be related to a divorce, seperation, restraining order, or child custody. If you have PTSD, the courts are mandated to offer you special accommodations while in court to protect you and to help your level of functioning due to the PTSD.

As we mentioned, in order to do that you must legitimately have PTSD, be diagnosed and have an Accommodations Report prepared by a professional that is presented to The ADA (American Disability Act). From there, special accommodations are granted. The range and what the accommodations are were listed in last weeks newsletter.

Some people hestitate in getting diagnosed with PTSD because they are afraid of it’s implication to them, their functioning level, or related to a mental illness diagnosis.

First of all, PTSD is a trauma disorder. If you are diagnosed with it, it already implies you have been traumatized. You are going to court regarding your traumatized relationship so it fits and it supports your argument in court as well as the symptoms that have arisen because of this relationship. If he was trauma producing, we need to say so. If we want the court to understand pathology, we need to teach them through our own experiences and relationships if we want the court to change.

Secondly, PTSD does not necessarily have the type of stigma you fear. Our vets that come home from war often, and more often than not, have PTSD. Fighting for our country is honorable–they were doing a good thing and yet were damaged from their experience. The same is true for you.

One of our previous presidential candidates has PTSD. Firefighters and law enforcement who bravely saved many in 911 have PTSD. Missionarys helping the poor in other countries have PTSD. Social Workers working in dangerous situations have PTSD.

I have PTSD. I have lived for 25 years with it. I openly discuss having the disorder–through no fault of my own. I got PTSD from seeing my father’s murder scene. I have worked with others that have PTSD now for 20 years. And because I am a survivor, I live with the effects of chronic PTSD daily. I know how it has changed me, my life, my abilities, my health, and my endurance. I have seen in hundreds of others, how it has effected their lives–sometimes long term.

If you have it, say it. Nothing starts healing until we acknowledge it. It is what it is. Some worry that they will be labeled with mental illness if the court acknowledges their PTSD.

Well, let’s think about that…do you think a pathological is going to go into court and NOT say you are crazy? You don’t think he will argue every point of your illness, behavior, or symptoms (whether they are true or not) in order to win? You don’t think he’s GOING to use some kind of emotional disorder argument? OF COURSE HE IS–that’s what pathologicals DO!! So, in order to prevent being labeled something far worse than PTSD, if you have PTSD, let IT be the label instead of something else that can greatly impair your ability to get rehabilitative alimony, custody of your children, etc.

Having a PTSD diagnosis before court can greatly help HOW FAR the pathological can go in trying to make you look mentally ill. PTSD is NOT mental illness. Having a PTSD diagnosis may help prevent them from labeling you mentally ill with other more debilitating types of mental illness.  So don’t shun the PTSD diagnosis if you have it. It may prevent you from being labeled something far worse.

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery based services for survivors of pathological love relationships.Information about pathological love relationships is in our award winning book Women Who Love Psychopaths and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more info.)

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

Body Armor In PTSD

June 1, 2011 by

Anyone who has sustained contact with a disordered person over time can relate to the concept of body armor-that involuntary tightening of the muscles that is part of the healthy flight/fight response to threat.

This response is especially prominent in those who have lived with a disordered person-dealing with mood swings, intensity, blaming, drama, invalidation, constant bids for attention, emotional and sometimes physical abuse.

Over time, the normal person who is the prime target of the disordered one’s malfeasance can not help but develop chronic tension in his or her muscles. Unless one exercises a great deal, this tension can create ongoing difficulties. Sadly, these difficulties can remain long after the “relationship” is over or contact is diminished or broken off.

What kind of problems result? I like to use the term body armor because it validates the person’s need to protect self on an ongoing basis. The level of tension that can accumulate from living with a disordered person creates aches, pains, muscles and tendons that are easily sprained or torn , and back problems of many kinds.

Frequently there are subsequent problems, such as headaches, PMS,  and muscle weakness. Some medical practitioners believe that fibromyalgia and other chronic muscle diseases are related to living with intense emotional stress. and research by the in the scientific mind-body field is needed to understand if this is so.

In my practice, I have seen and heard stories from women who have lived or are living with disordered men. They describe problems such as constant back issues, sore necks, ongoing injuries to arms and legs related to muscles asked to do work while they re already stretched in the flight/fight mode.

If you see yourself reflected in any of these descriptions, fortunately, there are many options. Unfortunately, women especially, who have lived with a disordered partner, are often reluctant to allocate tie and money on self-care-it seems indulgent. Or, their finances my have suffered as a result of the association with the disordered one.

Here are a few ideas to get you thinking about whether or not it is in your best interest to address body armor physical issues:

1.     Body armor problems are treatable, and relief is highly likely. Most modalities mentioned below have excellent track records.

2.     Treatment of these problems now will most likely mean the avoidance of more serious or chronic problems in the future.

3.     Your physical, emotional health will benefit, as will your ability to be productive at work and home.

4.     You may regain the energy and, stamina and overall health to exercise regularly.

5.     It feels REALLY good to have a therapeutic massage, acupuncture, etc. even if there are intermittent periods of discomfort.

6.     “Treating” yourself to any kind of bodywork under the circumstances is good for your soul-it is a way of saying to yourself, “well, I have suffered but now I am taking really good care of myself.”

7.     The muscle pain and discomfort may be reduced and or go away!

There are too many kinds of bodywork to mention here. Different practitioners are available in different communities. If you can not afford the services of a trained professional, there are still options. One is to find a school of massage or acupuncture where well-supervised students can provide low cost or even free services.

Another option is to work out a buddy system with a trusted friend, with whom you can trade massages. Almost anyone can afford a hot bath; adding oils such as Arnica Montana, a common homeopathic remedy, often used with oral tablets of the same name. Epsom salts baths are also a tried and true option.

There are a variety of options with regard to moist heat on affected areas- microwaved barley products such as Bed Buddy, or even hot, wet towels applied to affected areas. There are a numerous products that provide temporary localized heat that soothe and heal.

In addition to homeopathic resources, the emerging science of the down-regulation of inflammatory processes has given us pancreatic enzymes that reduce inflammation naturally:

http://www.bioticsresearch.com/node/1628

Some of my personal favorites include: Trigger Point Therapy, Cranio-sacral Therapy, and Acupuncture, moist heat, and Arnica used as described above.

Filed Under: PTSD: Mind/Body Connection (Column)

Neurofeedback Training and PTSD – Part II

February 15, 2011 by

In January’s column, we looked at neurofeedback training as a method to calm the brain and reduce a wide-ranging variety of symptoms associated with PTSD.

A person with PTSD has the unfortunate challenge of living with constant hormonal and neurotransmitter disruption. Why is this the case, even when the trauma is in the past? We know from Sandra’s work and that of others in the field of personality disorders, that the trauma does not necessarily stop once the “relationship” is over.

There are many legitimate source s of ongoing re-traumatization for the person formally involved with a disordered individual. For example, legal matters, shared custody of children, the process of rebuilding a life, all contain unique triggers.

But how can we understand the extent to which the person’s body continues to be in overdrive, even when these triggers are reduced? One answer lies in an understanding of what happens physically to a person under constant stress and or trauma:

Because the cell membranes in various parts of the nervous system become literally worn over time and unresponsive, which means the normal shut off process in those experiencing constant stress is not working. Thus , we have a biochemical and nervous system on overload, spinning down into further and further dis-regulation in the absence of effective interventions.

This is one reason why we see neurotransmitter and cortisol imbalances, and imbalances in brain functioning in PTSD. The brainwaves of persons with PTSD are often characterized by a great deal of activity in the zones related to anxiety, intense emotions, overthinking (obsessing)  and hypervigilance. There is usually reduced activity, and therefore reduced functioning, in areas associated with memory, focus, analytic capability, and the ability to relax.

The regions associated with sleep are usually disrupted, as is the ability to “be in the body.” The implications for ongoing emotional, physical and interpersonal problems are clear.

Neurofeedback training, which takes about 30-40 minutes a session, can help the nervous system to get back into balance. Most clients find some relief  after 2-3 sessions, and may do as many as 30 or 40 sessions over the course of a year. Many find that about 20 sessions makes a big difference in their ability to get on with their lives.

The cost varies from region to region, as does the availability of insurance coverage. The site below will help you find a practitioner using  geographic locations.

http://www.adnf.org/neurofeedback_directory.htm

Filed Under: PTSD: Mind/Body Connection (Column)

Neurofeedback Training and PTSD – Part I

January 10, 2011 by

So far this column has taken a look at the biochemical impact of PTSD and sustained stress. We’ve considered neurotransmitters and cortisol, two interrelated responses to the threat of (or actual) physical and or emotional harm.

As we’ve seen, when a person lives under constant stress, his or her biochemical’s almost always become unbalanced, leading to a host of emotional and physical symptoms. This stress response often takes on a life of its own and in doing so creates further problems such as cortisol and or serotonin depletion.

Neurologically, the same kind of thing happens in the nervous system-the brain’s frequencies get stuck in the “red alert mode.“

The nervous system, composed of bundles of brain cells, is an amazing communication system, more complex than just about any system known. Brain cells communicate with lightning speed using neurotransmitters and electrical signals. Particular grouping of signals or frequencies are more active under certain conditions such as sleep, relaxation, or being on red alert.

Neurofeedback training, based on the early success of fingertip based biofeedback, uses a number of aspects about the brain’s ability to self-correct,or retrain,  under specific circumstances: The person/client doing the training has sensors placed on the head and ears, to pick up information from the scalp-brainwaves. A computer program is designed to both read and interpret these signals, and to determine to what degree things are out of balance.

Meanwhile, the computer’s music file is opened and a recorded piece of music or a CD is played. The music is stopped by the computer program when it detects a pattern that is essentially out of balance. This interruption is perceived by the brain as a signal to interrupt what is was doing-in the case of PTSD, being on red alert.

When the brain is given this information many times for many weeks, it gradually stops the pattern of overreacting to things that are not particularly threatening.  For example, many partners of disordered persons have an overly sensitive startle reflex. A relatively  harmless situation can trigger an extreme reaction, especially if the person is used to walking on eggshells with a disordered partner.

Neurofeedback training, a non-invasive, proven method,

  • helps  the client regain the ability to relax, which can
  • reduce hypertension, promote healthy sleep patterns and
  • reduce dependency on chemical (medications, drugs)and behavioral (overeating, overspending) self-soothing patterns, and
  • can promote constructive problem solving as the brain is less controlled by anxiety and fear.

There are many, many benefits to neurofeedback training. Next month’s column will provide a more thorough description of the process and the results.

In the meantime, here are a couple of links to sites that will provide further information:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ-wX7kLBr4

http://aboutneurofeedback.com/ptsd.htm

For more information about Joan-Marie, visit her website:

http://joanmarielartin.com/?page_id=21

Filed Under: PTSD: Mind/Body Connection (Column)

A Light at the End of the Tunnel – Neurotransmitters and PTSD

September 12, 2010 by

Many aspects of PTSD are evident in invisible but serious physical disruptions due to the traumatic event(s). These disruptions contribute to serious problems such as depression, insomnia, and OCD; but recent advances have made it possible not only to identify these changes but to treat them in safe and effective ways. Ongoing stress, as well as a poor diet, genetics and environmental influences, can disrupt the inherent balance of the two main types of neurotransmitters (NTs). Excitatory neurotransmitters are the gas pedal that moves things along throughout our entire body. Inhibitory neurotransmitters calm us down, and function like brakes when it is normally time for the excitatory NTs to wind down.

Frequently, among people with PTSD, the levels of these NTs are out of balance. This can lead to:

Excitatory Neurotransmitters
High Levels Low Levels
* restlessness * fatigue
* insomnia * irritability
* poor concentration * clouded thinking
* emotional lability * poor focus
* racing thoughts
* anxiety, OCD or panic attacks
Inhibiting or Calming Neurotransmitters
High Levels Low Levels
* insomnia * headaches
* anxiety * headaches
* hyperactivity * carbohydrate cravings
* depression
* headaches
* insomnia
* carbohydrate cravings
* anxiety
* irritability

Notice the overlap of symptoms, as many imbalanced patterns reinforce and compound one another.

It is not surprising that many people with PTSD are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, and/or clinical depression. Psychiatric medications are usually prescribed. However many people are looking for effective and safe alternatives.

There are alternatives-exercise, meditation, yoga, and other behavioral “stress busters.” The only problem is getting motivated to do these things, no easy task when you are riddled with anxiety or paralyzed by depression.

One viable alternative is amino acid therapy. Usually, a urine sample is sent to a lab and based on the results an individualized program of amino acids is suggested. NeuroScience is one company providing this service to health care providers:

https://www.neurorelief.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=section&id=9&Itemid=51

Most insurance companies pay for these tests but not for supplements. A three-month supply typically costs $150-250. Results begin within a week to three weeks. Most people with PTSD take these supplements for at least 6 months.

Because PTSD is associated with many other physical problems, such as hypothyroid conditions, hypertension, headaches, I encourage these clients to

  1. have a thorough physical exam if they haven’t done so recently, and
  2. have their cortisol levels checked.

Cortisol (AKA adrenaline) and other chemical messengers are produced by the adrenal glands in response to stress. The symptoms of cortisol imbalances, as well as treatment options, will be discussed next month.

In my experience, clients who are struggling with PTSD find the combination of amino acid supplementation, adrenal support for cortisol imbalances, and neurofeedback training, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ-wX7kLBr4 to provide resolution of symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety, depression and irritability.

Providing naturally occurring supplements for NT and cortisol imbalances corrects these imbalances at a fundamental level. This creates an opportunity to return to better health. Supplement use is generally time limited unlike their chemical counterparts, which are often taken for years.

The decrease and resolution of PTSD related symptoms such as panic attacks, flashbacks, depression, OCD, cognitive deficiencies, behavioral problems, etc., makes it easier to do the hard work of psychotherapy. Effective therapy helps recovery and healing, and should, whenever possible, help the client change the situation that created the PTSD in the first place. Identifying and treating the physiological effects of PTSD is a fundamental first step in this process.

Filed Under: PTSD: Mind/Body Connection (Column)

PTSD Study: Kids also Vulnerable to Stress, Depression

August 10, 2010 by

Popular wisdom has long held that young children survive traumatic events better than adults do, in part because they suffer less. Being too young to understand fully the nature of what’s happening around them – during war or natural disaster, for instance – they should bounce back with much more resilience.

But new research on child survivors of Hurricane Katrina and witnesses of the 9/11 terrorist attacks suggests otherwise. “There is increasing evidence that kids know what is going on if they are directly exposed and see something like planes crashing into the [World Trade Center] towers,” says child psychologist Claude Chemtob of New York University, lead author of one of several new papers on children and disaster, published in a special section of the July and August issue of Child Development.

Read more…

Filed Under: Research (Articles)

PTSD: The Mind/Body Connection

Women Who Love Psychopaths – 3rd. Ed. – e-book

January 12, 2019 by

Women Who Love Psychopaths – 3rd Edition – e-Book

Now Available!

By field-pioneer and survivor therapy innovator, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. with Jennifer R. Young, The Institute’s Director of Survivor Services (counseling).

The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education is the field-leader and innovator in PLR survivor treatment, research and education. The Institute has created the only recognized Model of Care Treatment approach for PLR survivors following Trauma-Informed Care practices and evidence-based treatment approaches. Sandra is the President of the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Survivor Treatment, Research & Education. www.survivortreatment.com

New in the 3rd edition of Women Who Love Psychopaths:

MORE information than the previous edition of the book!  Since the release of the 2nd Edition nine years ago, we have been hard at work in the areas of survivor recovery techniques, therapist treatment training, and research—what traits in survivors are targeted.

This 3rd Edition contains new material such as:
  • All of our most recent updates on new knowledge of trauma-specific injuries like cognitive dissonance
  • New updates on Super Traits taken from our research with Purdue University
  • Our latest findings on why therapists are missing trauma in survivors because of the ‘atypical’ presentation of PTSD
  • What to look for when finding competent care
  • The basics of what every recovery should include
  • And so much more…
This is the ‘ultimate field guide for recovery’ taking more than three years to prepare and write. It is not only The Institute’s latest book but the FINAL full-length book on Pathological and Toxic Love Relationships.

This book, complete with survivor worksheets and information for assessing partner possible disorders, can help –

Survivors

  • Understand your own personality profile (identified as ‘targeted’ by these disordered personalities), taken from our 30 years of treating the survivors and the only research ever done on narcissist and psychopath’s victims, so that you can take pro-active steps to guard these ‘super traits’ (that are most targeted) by preventing another painful relationship
  • Make sense of the crazy-making relationship dynamics, ‘why they do that,’ how they differ from other dysfunctional relationships, why you didn’t see them coming, and how to spot them in the future
  • Learn what disordered personalities can never do in relationships, how their disorders were created and the neuroscience of their brain (which prevents lasting change), use our worksheets to see which disorders they are likely to have, what you can expect from their functionality, and why you were so harmed
  • Understand the #1 symptom in all Pathological Love Relationship (PLR) survivors—cognitive dissonance, how it’s created, what survivors are likely doing that is INCREASING traumatic symptoms, and the layers of cognitive dissonance which each need focused recovery treatment or self-help
  • Wonder why a therapist has missed your trauma symptoms? Understand the undiscussed reality of the unique type of PLR PTSD that has atypical symptoms that therapists don’t recognize. Recognize how cognitive dissonance is making your PLR PTSD worse and what needs to happen
  • Assess your own traumatic symptoms, fix why your recovery has stalled, use our guides to find competent care and learn what to avoid, understand why your therapist might be missing important clues to your needed treatment, and learn what your therapist needs to know
  • Think you are codependent or an empath? Learn why these are likely untrue, why you won’t get well getting treatment for these, and what you need to focus on
  • Have you been told you just need to ‘trust your gut’ to avoid a PLR in the future! Learn why this is not true for PLR PTSD survivors and why doing exactly that is likely to end up in another PLR! Learn why you have inconsistent intuition and what trauma has done to your intuition system
  • Want to institute self-help measures? Get our Recovery Basics that can get you on the path to recovery even before you find a therapist

Family and Friends 

  • What you should know about what the survivor has been through and why she isn’t getting over it quickly
  • The depth and breadth of her traumatic injuries and what she needs in order to recover

Therapists of the Survivors 

  • Stop wrong diagnosis, understand hidden atypical PTSD symptoms, identify the risk factors inherent in her personality trait elevations, work with the #1 often hidden symptom in this genre-specific population

General Public 

  • Learn the signs and symptoms of life and soul-destroying disorders—the impact to the partner, children, and societal systems—before you end up in one of these relationships of ‘inevitable harm,’ and why everyone should be concerned.
Sandra says, “I am enormously proud of this book–we have come so far in being able to document the theory of Pathological Relationships, a much deeper understanding of why the trauma is so severe, the strategic problems most survivors are having in finding competent care and more importantly, what they can do now to stop worsening their trauma.  It is absolutely everything I know and have to say as one of the pioneering therapists in this field.”

Price: $11.00

Available in EPUB format, which works with most e-readers, and PDF, which can be downloaded to your computer and read without the need for an e-reader.

EPUB format for most e-readers

Price: $11.00

 

EPUB

PDF format for computer download

Price: $11.00

 

PDF

Filed Under: e-Books, E-Books, Products

Women Who Love Psychopaths, 3rd Ed. – Print

December 10, 2018 by
Media
Format:
 

Women Who Love Psychopaths – 3rd Edition

3rd (and final) Edition of Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists

By field-pioneer and survivor therapy innovator, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. with Jennifer R. Young, The Institute’s Director of Survivor Services (counseling).

Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

Jennifer R. Young, L.M.H.C

The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education is the field-leader and innovator in PLR survivor treatment, research and education. The Institute has created the only recognized Model of Care Treatment approach for PLR survivors following Trauma-Informed Care practices and evidence-based treatment approaches. Sandra is the President of the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Survivor Treatment, Research & Education. www.survivortreatment.com

New in the 3rd edition of Women Who Love Psychopaths:

MORE information than the previous edition of the book!  Since the release of the 2nd Edition nine years ago, we have been hard at work in the areas of survivor recovery techniques, therapist treatment training, and research—what traits in survivors are targeted.

This 3rd Edition contains new material such as:
  • All of our most recent updates on new knowledge of trauma-specific injuries like cognitive dissonance
  • New updates on Super Traits taken from our research with Purdue University
  • Our latest findings on why therapists are missing trauma in survivors because of the ‘atypical’ presentation of PTSD
  • What to look for when finding competent care
  • The basics of what every recovery should include
  • And so much more…
This is the ‘ultimate field guide for recovery’ taking more than three years to prepare and write. It is not only The Institute’s latest book but the FINAL full-length book on Pathological and Toxic Love Relationships.

This book, complete with survivor worksheets and information for assessing partner possible disorders, can help –

Survivors

  • Understand your own personality profile (identified as ‘targeted’ by these disordered personalities), taken from our 30 years of treating the survivors and the only research ever done on narcissist and psychopath’s victims, so that you can take pro-active steps to guard these ‘super traits’ (that are most targeted) by preventing another painful relationship
  • Make sense of the crazy-making relationship dynamics, ‘why they do that,’ how they differ from other dysfunctional relationships, why you didn’t see them coming, and how to spot them in the future
  • Learn what disordered personalities can never do in relationships, how their disorders were created and the neuroscience of their brain (which prevents lasting change), use our worksheets to see which disorders they are likely to have, what you can expect from their functionality, and why you were so harmed
  • Understand the #1 symptom in all Pathological Love Relationship (PLR) survivors—cognitive dissonance, how it’s created, what survivors are likely doing that is INCREASING traumatic symptoms, and the layers of cognitive dissonance which each need focused recovery treatment or self-help
  • Wonder why a therapist has missed your trauma symptoms? Understand the undiscussed reality of the unique type of PLR PTSD that has atypical symptoms that therapists don’t recognize. Recognize how cognitive dissonance is making your PLR PTSD worse and what needs to happen
  • Assess your own traumatic symptoms, fix why your recovery has stalled, use our guides to find competent care and learn what to avoid, understand why your therapist might be missing important clues to your needed treatment, and learn what your therapist needs to know
  • Think you are codependent or an empath? Learn why these are likely untrue, why you won’t get well getting treatment for these, and what you need to focus on
  • Have you been told you just need to ‘trust your gut’ to avoid a PLR in the future! Learn why this is not true for PLR PTSD survivors and why doing exactly that is likely to end up in another PLR! Learn why you have inconsistent intuition and what trauma has done to your intuition system
  • Want to institute self-help measures? Get our Recovery Basics that can get you on the path to recovery even before you find a therapist

Family and Friends 

  • What you should know about what the survivor has been through and why she isn’t getting over it quickly
  • The depth and breadth of her traumatic injuries and what she needs in order to recover

Therapists of the Survivors 

  • Stop wrong diagnosis, understand hidden atypical PTSD symptoms, identify the risk factors inherent in her personality trait elevations, work with the #1 often hidden symptom in this genre-specific population

General Public 

  • Learn the signs and symptoms of life and soul-destroying disorders—the impact to the partner, children, and societal systems—before you end up in one of these relationships of ‘inevitable harm,’ and why everyone should be concerned.

Sandra says, “I am enormously proud of this book–we have come so far in being able to document the theory of Pathological Relationships, a much deeper understanding of why the trauma is so severe, the strategic problems most survivors are having in finding competent care and more importantly, what they can do now to stop worsening their trauma.  It is absolutely everything I know and have to say as one of the pioneering therapists in this field.”
 

Regular price – $18

(plus shipping and handling)

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Filed Under: Print Books, Print Books, Products

Deciding Not to Stay Where You Are

October 23, 2018 by

~ “The first step towards getting somewhere is to DECIDE that you are not going to stay where you are.” ~ (Anny Jacoby)

I just loved this quote when I read it. It reminds me of what we have been talking about now for quite some time and especially the “Living the Gentle Life” series of articles.

I get emails that say, “I can’t leave him because_________.” There are lots of reasons that people, both men and women, feel trapped in pathological love relationships for various reasons. It could be finances, children, poor health, lack of employment or education, religious beliefs, family, attitude, fear of harm, or their own damage from PTSD. But the first step toward an internal shift, where something else might be a possibility, is beginning with knowing that you are not going to stay where you are.

The external reasons of why you are still there are just that—external. The paradigm shift starts internally—the decision you make that you are not going to stay where you are, whether emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, or sexually. Externally, things begin to happen when you simply make the decision that at some time in the near future, you are not going to stay where you are. What happens outside of us in recovery starts with the shift internally, before it is ever manifested in our lives. We won’t follow a path that isn’t first developed internally. We’ll end up only seeing roadblocks of the external, which doesn’t help us. The first thing that has to happen is the decision for internal movement.

Over the 25+ years of working with pathology and its victims, I have heard every kind of story about pathological relationships. Anything from the most deviant kind of mind control to attempted murder to actual murder. I’ve heard of financial hostage taking, rape, assaults, stalking, women put into comas, people alienated from their children, people being medically harmed, reputations and careers ruined, and people locked in their homes or psyches for decades. I’ve heard it all. The emails start with, “But, I can’t”—and then they give the reason for their inability to leave.

But there is movement happening in them that they might not see. They have read articles on our website, our newsletters, or are emailing us so obviously something inside is shifting. Somewhere, they are deciding they are not going to stay where they are! Even mentally they are moving and changing. Their “yes, but” might be a reason to them, but they are already deciding to not stay where they are.

Yes, there are safety and housing barriers. Remember, every community has domestic violence (DV) servicesor DV housing which most likely exists in your area.

Yes, there are emotional barriers—you have PTSD. Remember most communities have DV counseling services that are free – churches have support groups, and community mental health counseling for you or your children is free or very low in cost.

Yes, there are starting-over barriers when you leave with only what’s in your suitcase. Remember, DV services and other nonprofit organizations offer furniture, clothing and household items to those starting over.

Yes, there are legal barriers—you don’t have an attorney. Remember self-help, nonprofit and women’s organizations. DV agencies have information on legal aid and OTHER types of pro bono services if you don’t qualify for legal aid.

Yes, there are other case-specific barriers—there are so many issues to manage at once. Remember women’s organizations, DV agencies and other nonprofit organizations have case workers assigned to you so you don’t have to do it all yourself.

You need only first decide that you are not going to stay where you are. That’s the first step to the rest of your life. That doesn’t mean you leave tomorrow—that means you shift internally—that you open the emotional door of possibility that you will not always be where you are today.

Right around the corner is October – Domestic Violence Awareness month when I stop and give tribute and memory to those patients of mine who have died because they believed they couldn’t do anything about their situation or they underestimated his (or her) pathology. In honor of all those who have been harmed, alive or not, we remember you and send possibility to those living in a pathological situation that your life can and will be different. I don’t say that flippantly—I too have experienced a lot of pain when I see patients further harmed, so I say it from my own experience.

The Institute has helped thousands of people make that paradigm shift internally so they could eventually make it externally.

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more information).

© www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)

The Living Recovery Program

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What is the Living Recovery Program?

The Living Recovery Program is an Institute for Relational Harm Reduction comprehensive and affordable approach to recovery from a Pathological Love Relationship (with a Cluster B/Psychopathic partner).  Utilizing our Pathological Love Relationship Puzzle approach, we help you through the puzzling maze of pathology and its aftermath.

We know that your symptoms are life altering, that your time is limited, and that he’s likely to have wiped you out financially, emotionally, and spiritually.  To reach out to our survivors who are serious about creating a life that is pathology-free and aggressively recovery-oriented, we have developed a weekly approach to an on-line ‘crash course to recovery’ that offers trauma-specific help through a cost effective and affordable intervention that is sure to bring relief.

What’s all in it?

The Living Recovery Program (LRP) consists of 51 Lessons (plus a ‘Finale’) with educational and guided recovery topics, tips, techniques, resources, and helpful tools delivered in an online, self-study format which you can access from the comfort of your home and in whatever time frame is most convenient for you.

To begin with, Lessons include topical discussions on pathology and the relational dynamics, your personality traits and aftermath symptoms, and recovery. Most Lessons include:

  • A topical discussion on the subject matter covered in the Lesson materials.
  • Trauma-specific articles describing clinically appropriate understanding of various personality disorders/psychopathy and identification of the relational dynamics which harm you.
  • One of The Institute’s Relational Harm Reduction Blog Talk Radio shows focused on pathology educational information and symptom management, or other appropriate audio or video presentations relevant to the subject matter. ($144 value)
  • Worksheets, hand outs or tools specific to Pathological Love Relationships which include assessments, check lists, and other self-identifying work sheets. ($96 value)

Some lessons include references to a multitude of on-line resources that are clinically appropriate to the topic under discussion.

Are there other elements to the LRP?

Throughout each Semester, Sandra L. Brown, M.A., founder and CEO of The Institute, hosts a monthly tele-conference call for current students to ask questions about recovery. Calls are generally 45 to 60-minutes in duration (value $500+) and audio recordings are uploaded to the class platform for future review.

Actively enrolled students are invited to participate in our closed (secret) Facebook group, a community that facilitates continued discussion, mentoring and support among others who are walking the same path and truly “get it.” And Sandra frequents the group on a regular basis so there’s even more access to her invaluable insights and guidance. Upon completion of the course, participants may be invited into our large closed (secret) Facebook group for continued discussion with, and support from, veteran survivors — and, again, Sandra also participates in this group.

How does it work?

The complete LRP is structured as an annual program that progresses through a total of 51 lessons (plus the Finale). A new Lesson is released every week on Friday over the course of 52 weeks.

Enrollments are for the full program presented in a monthly subscription format to make it even more affordable. Your subscription is billed to your credit card each month.

How will the Living Recovery Program help me?

If you are committed to working on your recovery, you will find that this is the only program out there that addresses the specifics of the aftermath that comes from having been in a PLR! Other programs do not take the same approach – which is trauma based therapy – and that identify the specifics of WHAT you’re experiencing, WHY you’re experiencing it, and HOW to heal in order to find peace and rebuilding your life.

Other programs suggest a recovery that is based simply on ‘no contact’ and ‘breathe’, which is far from all that is necessary to calm your symptoms and get your life back. Our model-of-care, based on science, research, and more than 30 years of experience with this specific genre, addresses every single aspect of the symptoms and experiences in the aftermath with which you are plagued. There are virtually no other sources and/or resources that offer the depth and breadth of recovery-oriented guidance that will lead you to recovery like the LRP does. Our approach has been used by thousands of women and, as such, has been proven to work — and work well!

While you can complete the Lessons at your own pace, we urge you to actively work through your Lessons as they are released in order to continue making progress in your recovery. Whether you do a little each day or “binge” once every couple of weeks or every month is entirely up to you, but the only way you will recover is to keep at it. And staying active in the Lessons will also help you in flushing out questions you may have which will maximize your use of the support that is available to you while you are in the program. Students are encouraged to take advantage of these support venues which include our monthly tele-conference calls and the ‘secret’ Facebook group where LRP students can hang out together.

What does all this cost?

The total retail value for products and services provided in the LRP, if purchased separately, is nearly $1,800. We have packaged these products and services into the affordable subscription price of only $33 per month. 

With your paid monthly subscription, the full program supports you for one year. Sounds like a long time doesn’t it? But recovery from a PLR is like no other breakup and it takes time to work through all the various facets of healing and recovery. For that year, you will have the opportunity to interact with other survivors who are also in the LRP, the incredible insights from Sandra herself, the knowledge of veteran survivors to guide you with suggestions based on what worked for them in their recovery, and, equally important, the understanding of others who have been down or are on the same path — those who truly “get it”.

When and how do I enroll?

We now are offering on-demand enrollment! This means that you will no longer have to wait for the quarterly enrollment periods. Now, when you’re ready for Living Recovery, Living Recovery will be ready for you!

What do others who have already participated in the LRP have to say about it?

“I’m a 7-year veteran and have used all of the Institute’s products and services. The LRP didn’t exist when I was working my recovery, but I’m very familiar with it and all I can say is that it pretty much rolls into one what is covered at retreats, in tele-counseling, and the printed materials, Newsletters, website, radio shows, etc. The model-of-care for the Institute’s treatment programs is like none other that’s out there in that no other approach is as thorough and life-altering in achieving full recovery from the aftermath’s despair in the pits of hell. If it weren’t for having found the Institute and Sandra’s work, I don’t think I’d be here today.” JM

“I had to stop visiting the various social media sites because the constant exposure to other people’s trauma kept triggering my own. I didn’t know where to turn until I found the Living Recovery Program. The clarity this online class has provided for me and the clear and concise way you explain the steps for healing has been life changing. Thank you for helping me get my life back!” AC

“I’m in the third quarter of the Living Recovery Program and it has changed my life! It has opened my eyes to what really was, and is, happening, while helping me re-build from ground zero who I truly am!” AM

“The Living Recovery Program’s downloadable tools help to calm me down, recenter and get grounded again. Knowledge is Power! And this knowledge is the foundation of my recovery…knowing better and better who and what I was dealing with, and how the PLR affected me, both during the relationship and now in the aftermath. The LRP has given me a well-trodden path to walk toward healing and recovery. Because of this great program I am now doing things which are having a HUGE impact on the healing of my nervous system. Between that and the self-soothing tools I have gotten from the LRP, I am experiencing a steady decrease in my PTSD symptoms. I can’t begin to express my gratitude for putting together this life-saving and affordable program.” SR

“After my break-up, I was left emotionally shattered and I could not understand why I wasn’t getting better, why I had constant intrusive thoughts, and why I could not put this particular relationship behind me. While trying to make sense of a senseless situation, I was introduced to the work of Sandra Brown. It was as if a light had finally been turned on in a dark room. Her book Women who love Psychopaths explained everything including the behaviors, quirks and red flags that I overlooked, ignored and re-framed. And now, with the Living Recovery Program, finally everything is falling into place! My endless stream of thoughts can be channeled and all my symptoms are understood and quieted because of the tools and techniques provided in the classes. Thank you, Sandra, for your life changing work.” AS

“The Living Recovery Program is worth its weight in gold! It is not a review/rehash of the story details from a bad relationship and breakup, but, instead, a clear and well laid out explanation of how and why women get into these pathological relationships, why leaving them is so difficult, and the damage that is caused by them which continues beyond the end of the relationship. As if all of that were not enough, the course also provides practical, doable steps for reclaiming your life, unraveling the aftermath and, ultimately, healing. I highly recommend the Living Recovery course to survivors, Law Enforcement, anyone in Family Law/Family Court venue, mental health counselors, Child Protective Service and social workers, and anyone who works with victims of Domestic Violence. Thank you, Sandra Brown, The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and your team, for the creation of this beautiful course with the ultimate goal being recovery.”  MB, survivor/thriver

Your safety, security and confidentiality of personal information

The online platform that we use is HIPAA compliant. (Participation in the Facebook group is not.) Your personal information that is gathered in the admissions process is only available to team members who manage the program (they are under signed Confidentiality Agreements with us) for the sole purposes of managing the program and ensuring the safety and security of all students across the various venues that are used for the Program’s administration.

Refunds – the Living Recovery Program

The Living Recovery Program is a GUIDED progression of education with our model-of-care elements that will help survivors practice self-care and recovery techniques.

Some of the material should sound familiar to you as our model-of-care is explained in our other materials. The additional discussions in each lesson (Introductions) combined with other materials and links to audios and videos, as well as the monthly tele-conference calls guide you through a more in-depth study. The introduction to each lesson correlates the relationship that pathological behaviors have on the survivor, your symptoms, your brain, etc. These are NOT conclusions that will be drawn by most people by merely reading our other material.

Some of the material, particularly in the initial lessons, is intended as review to delve more deeply into principles associated with the concepts. Each progressive set of Lessons continues to unpack more materials, links to entire manuals, techniques, worksheets, assessments, etc. that are not otherwise available on our website or in other materials.  To get the more in-depth materials, you will need to stay with the entire program since it is progressive and builds off concepts that are presented earlier in the series.

Because of the subscription format and how access to the online class and platform is structured, we cannot issue refunds for those lessons that have been paid for since you have already been granted access to them. You are under no obligation and may cancel your subscription any time you choose by accessing your own account settings.

Living the Gentle Life—Part 7: Healing Sexually

September 25, 2018 by

Over the past month or so, we have been talking about healing from pathological love relationships and what is involved in this process.  It requires facing the damage that has been done and recognizing any stress disorders or PTSD that you might now have from the relationship. It then requires changing your life in order to heal – changing your physical environment and learning how to develop a lifestyle that helps you heal emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and sexually. Today, we’re going to talk about the sexual effect of pathological and dangerous relationships.

In an earlier article in this series, we talked about healing the spiritual effects of a pathological relationship.  Ironically, the sexual effects are also often spiritual effects. That’s because a lot of the spiritual effects have to do with attaching and bonding on many levels – including spiritually. In a spiritual sense, we have been designed to bond during sexual experiences – especially women.

(WARNING – THIS IS GRAPHIC!) Recent hormonal and sexual studies have indicated that orgasms achieved during sex release the same brain chemicals that are released during BONDING with your baby!

This phenomenal aspect gives great insight into WHY it is so hard to leave a relationship, even if it is dangerous.  Many of the dangerous types of men are hypersexual so there is A LOT of sex. A lot of sex equals a lot of opportunities for sexual bonding through orgasm and hormonal stimulation. Women are, by nature, NOT abandoners; they stay with those to whom they ‘attach’ or ‘bond’. So the more bonded you feel to him, the less likely you are to leave. The more sexually attached you are, which often feels like spiritually attached – “he’s my soul mate” – the more confusing and difficult it is to detach.

Additionally, many pathological men who are hypersexual bring to a relationship a lot of sexual deviancy. For the first time in your life, you may have been exposed to sexual behaviors or aspects that you had never experienced. Since the pathological is great at manipulation, guilt, and rewarding your loyalty, you may have been coerced into sexual behaviors that violated your own morality or normal sexual boundaries. Perhaps he introduced into the relationship pornography, sexual acts you were uncomfortable with, group sexual experiences, relationship rape, or other sexual violations. Additionally, most pathological men, in their hypersexuality, are NOT monogamous, so maybe you acquired an STD from him.

These deep soul wounds harm more than just your emotions. They harm you spiritually and infiltrate your sexual identity. A woman often feels so perverted in what she has experienced she may feel like she has to stay with him because no ‘normal’ or ‘healthy’ man would want her after what she has done in the sexual relationship with him.

In some relationships, true sexual addiction may have occurred. You may feel as if you are addicted to him, the sex with him, or sex with anyone. What you have experienced IS sexual abuse in the relationship. However, pathological men have an uncanny way of making you feel like a willing participant, or that it’s YOUR deviancy he is responding to sexually. Remember – they twist and pervert every aspect of the truth!

The sexual side effects of the relationship can contribute to your overall stress disorder or PTSD. It is an aspect that should be treated in order to reclaim your sexual identity.  Untreated, your skewed sexual identity can cause you to continue to sexually act out, to cooperate in his sexual deviancy, or to use drugs or alcohol to numb your painful feelings.

It can also cause increased PTSD symptoms, anxiety and depression, or leave you despondent to stay in pathological relationships out of a sense of feeling dirty or unworthy of healthier relationships.

You can also be impacted spiritually – driving you away from the solace and help you find in your own connection to God.

From this standpoint, the ONLY way to live a gentle life is to heal your sexual side and to see the damage done to your sexuality as part of the overall picture of the after-effects of a dangerous and pathological relationship.

If you are in counseling, please talk to your counselor about the sexual effects of your relationship.

(**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions.  See the website for more information.)

© www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

Filed Under: Sandra Says (Column)
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