Special Notice from The Institute–Colleagues latest survivors book

Special Notice from The Institute–Colleagues latest survivors book

Dear Institute Reader;

Rarely do we send an extra email besides our weekly newsletter but it isn’t often that one of our colleagues writes an extraordinary book that can help millions of domestic violence and pathological love relationship survivors.  It is also unusual that the author is not available to do her own promotion of her latest autobiography of pathological torture.Our colleague Susan Murphy Milano has Stage IV cancer so we are part of a ‘virtual’ online book tour that will help bring her book in front of millions of other survivors.

Susan’s father a decorated Chicago police officer was a child abuser, wife beater and ultimately a murderer. Holding My Hand Through Hell is a personal autobiography, a true crime memoir of a life of service to survivors.  Below is a book review I wrote about the book. I hope you will consider reading this book–not only to understand the woman behind the work but The Institute has consistently encouraged our survivors to find their place in public pathology education and to serve and educate others. Susan’s life is a testament to how a survivor can change an entire field. What Susan did is unusual but it’s not impossible and I am challenging all our readers to follow in her foot steps to shed light on pathology.


Book Review of ‘Holding My Hand Through Hell’
Author Susan Murphy Milano
Review by Sandra L. Brown, MA
The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education

What does an early childhood of alcoholism, sexual abuse, and the witnessing of violence in the home produce?  For decades psychology has been studying the effects on victims of these impactful early beginnings. What psychology discovered was for some victims they would succumb to addiction, repeated patterns of victim/abuser relationships, or crippling mental illness. These early impressionable  years in children’s lives often marred their adult futures with the scars of abuse.


And while childhood is the fragile soil from which traumatic imprints can sink deeply into the emotional roots of a victim, what about trauma in adulthood? What happens to adults when unthinkable traumas invade? Or worse—when both a victim’s childhood AND adulthood are contaminated with overwhelming pain? What does the trauma tonics of childhood abuse and the added experiences of a murdered mother and a suicided father do to a victim?


From the surface, psychology would ‘predict’ the victim of these combined traumas would likely develop the emotional catatonia produced from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Early childhood coping mechanisms that were not fully developed because of trauma, gets a double dose as an adult forcing an adult to call on coping mechanisms that were never produced in childhood.  This is often the kiss of dysfunction for a victim.


But for the resilient, these trauma tonics produce pioneers.


In the unusual cases of hyper-resiliency, too many traumas often create a metamorphic response turning terror into a piercing intensity of determination. Where the cruel hand of victimization normally would turn an adult into a fetal-positioned ball of anxiety, the resilient phoenix rises out of the ashes riding the horse of advocacy out of the apocalypse.


In this victimology- trilogy Susan Murphy Milano morphed from abused child to adult survivor to victim advocate before her super hero cape ever unfurled. What would scorch most adults psyches merely ignited a flame of indomitably in Susan’s mind to somehow prevent further intimate partner homicides.


That is a simple analogy for a complex career spanning decades of saving people’s lives in the most unorthodox of ways.  Seeing your parents blood splattered across a house has a way of changing the playing field…and the rules. So there were few rules for Susan in saving people’s lives.  And there weren’t any she wouldn’t consider breaking if it meant keeping one more woman alive. When you aren’t playing by anyone else’ rules the possibilities are endless and thinking outside the box for answers becomes the norm which is why her extraordinary thinking produced extraordinary results and why years from now much of her work will still be considered revolutionary.


For every survivor who wondered if she could ever take the pain of violence and put it through the grist mill of experience and help others because of it–you won’t want to miss reading Holding My Hand Through Hell by Susan Murphy Milano who will do more than convince you that God recycles pain–it will show you a magnificent life lived in the service of others, that we may all heal.
Sandra L. Brown, The Institute

You can purchase the book at :

Times Up! A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive & Stalking Relationships – e-book

by Susan Murphy-Milano

How you can escape a violent relationship and get out with your life.

You can actually live free from a life of abuse and violence using creative approaches developed by Susan Murphy Milano in her new book, “Time’s Up!”

You can’t Google the strategies and escape plans utilized by Susan who has devised a way that works and has been tested by time for over 20 years. Just like DNA, your road map will be uniquely your own because each safety plan is individual.

More than just a “to do” list, this book is a “must do” list if you are caught in a life threatening situation.

  • How to properly hire a lawyer
  • How to find an apartment
  • How to keep your personal records safe
  • How to deal with stalking
  • How to set up visitation and child support
  • How to stay 10 steps ahead of the abuser
Susan Murphy Milano has been in the streets and shelters helping women escape from bad relationships and has developed creative ways out of frightening situations.  There are domestic violence organizations and advocates who call on Susan daily to get her expert opinion on cases of battered women and how to get them on a track of freedom and safety.

Previous books, “Defending Our Lives” and “Moving Out, Moving On” are benchmarks dealing with issues of domestic violence safety plans and are used throughout the country as examples of what to do should you be caught in a violent relationship.  “Time’s Up!” uses the foundations and helps you to build your own, unique safety plan allowing you to escape safely and rebuild your life.

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Price: $18.75
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Moving Out, Moving On: When a Relationship Goes Wrong – e-book

Moving Out, Moving On: When a Relationship Goes Wrong–A Step-By-Step Approach For Organizing Your Leave Ahead of Time

by Susan Murphy-Milano Moving out, Moving on is today’s most comprehensive, step-by-step, practical guide to bringing the painful process of a relationship break-up and divorce to an equitable conclusion. This book offers a complete and detailed plan for dealing with all the aspects and pitfalls that one faces during this emotional and life altering experience. Through clear examination, simple forms and worksheets, Moving out, Moving on , logically takes the reader through all the necessary preparation and information gathering to effectively seek legal redress, protect one’s assets and credit, address considerations regarding children, define alternate living arrangements, and deal with the myriad of financial problems and concerns surrounding a divorce or break-up. Moving out, Moving on, also addresses in detail abusive relationships, domestic violence and stalking and how to safely confront these situations. Moving out, Moving on , is more then a simple workbook, but a true plan to take control of one’s life and face the future head on. This is not just another “divorce book” written by a so called “expert.” Moving out, Moving on , is authored by a person who truly knows…Susan Murphy-Milano.

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Price: $18.75
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